If only women know....

Ginny, we are working on ourselves and finding help. That is literally what we are doing right now.

I'm on day 40 or whatever of my current reboot, but I've made it past 90 days before. I've made it past 365 days. And here I am again.

What I can tell you from that experience is this; you never get to a point where "nothing bothers you anymore". Unless of course you count backsliding to the starting point of addiction itself. The addict is numb, and truly does not care what anyone else wears. Because he/she views everyone else as disposable anyways.

It takes recovery for the addict to care about other people. He may not agree with them, or know how to connect with them, but he cares enough to want that connection.

 

Ginny,

Could you please elaborate on this?

When was the way that anyone dressed ever a trigger for you in the first place? Are you talking about the way men dressed? The way other women dressed? I would really like to understand what you are saying but it seems like we are missing some crucial context.

 

Not sure this can be true. In a bunch of tribal cultures women go around topless as a matter of course, and nobody thinks anything of it. The main problem is that we live in a hypersexualised culture. If you obsess over sex, then literally anything could turn you on. The problem isn't with the outside world, it's in us.

 

I suppose it is confusing to me because I was not aware that it is even possible for men to dress in a way that is considered so obviously attractive to females that it is socially frowned upon.

What is the equivalent to the short skirt, spandex pants, low cut blouse?

By the way, this isn't rhetorical. I would be interested to know if I might be inadvertently dressing in a way that makes someone else uncomfortable.

 

"Socially frowned upon" has EVERYTHING to do with what *I* have been talking about.

If a woman gets up and chooses to wear something that she knows will be interpreted in a negative way by polite society then she is responsible for that choice. And she is solely responsible for her choice because nobody else is making her wear that. And if it is also socially frowned upon for a man to look at a woman dressed that way then he needs to actively reject her. The same way a woman might actively reject a guy who proposes sex on a first date.

That has been my point this whole time.

And I feel the same way about a man who chooses to wear something clearly inappropriate. I'm just not sure he would even be a temptation of any sort to anyone.

 

A valid point. In my experience, they turn on feminist mode when they get criticized for what they wear. Patriarchy this, womanizer that, and so on. They get so offended when you point out the fact that they ought to be modest. Not all of them are like this, though. There are a lot of women who do dress modestly. I'm grateful for that.

 

Stop fishing for attention.

And women should dress decently, its not about men but about kids too. I dont want my kid to see womens tits or asses everywhere.

 

Sure man, i ll just wear extra tight leggings where your mom, wife and daughter can see the exact shape of my penis and the exact shape of my ass. Ill also put some lighting near my penus for good measure.

You really cant see how absurd your way of thinking is?

You're the other extreme of burqas

 

You cannot go around telling people how to live their lives. You can't change how the world around your child works, but you can teach your child how to handle it properly.

 

First of all, thats hilarious, you're telling me i can't tell people how to live their lives while telling me how to live my life.

Second of all, see my other post about tight pants and penis showing.

 

If you started to wear that then people would just look the other way. If no one is getting hurt and you don't like it, then do not see it.

 

Yea man sure, it will be pefectly fine to wear that next to a little girl in the subway or you gf or wife.

Have you people lost any sense of decency and spine just so people dont perceive you as "judgemental"?

Nobody is getting hurt by NOT wearing degenerate clothing

 

To be honest if you sat next to my girlfriend or wife dressed as a erotic buffoon, I am sure it would only make me look better.

 

Just tasteless attempt at humor when you have 0 arguments.

 

You have no arguements either, you just want to change a thing you cannot control. There is nothing you can do about how people dress. You are free to hate it though.

 

Ok man sure, so you have absolutely no problem when a man wears a very tight and semi transparent pair of pants and his penis is shown in full detail, but just covered by material.

You have no problem with him sitting exactly in your gfs/ wife face when shes sitting down in the subway.

You also have no problem if hes sitting in the face of your 5 yo daughter, 8 yo daughter, 13 yo daughter or 17 yo daughter.

Its hilarious you're saying i have no arguments while running away from answering, using pathetic jokes.

 

Of course I would have a problen, it would be a horrible an unpleasent sight, but I can't do nothing about him dressed like that, it is not my body and it is not my life. I can tell my child not look, but I cannot just go to the guy and force him inside a tunic while giving him a speech about decency, but probably you would do that.

 

So you agree wearing something like that is too revealing. And this obviously applies to both men and women.

Why do you have no spine then to voice your opinion?

What are you going to do in that situation? Let your daughter sit there or have her move? What if 50% of the men wear such pants? How are you going to avoid them and how is your daughter going to avoid them? You just assumed it's one person.