I wrote something

Hi guys, today I spent my time in writing something.

What do you think about that? I'd be very happy to get some feedback

Spoiler: click here for text

1. Introduction
Ray Dalio describes in his book "principles" various principles he gathered from others and developed by himself to be successful. Also he recommended a way how everyone could develop his or her own principles. It basically breaks down to the following:

Observe for you recurring situations - he calles these situations "realities" - and try to review them so you can formulate generally applicable principles. This is on page 150 of his mentioned book (German edition).

Before I move on reading his book, I want to formulate these realities for my own life in it's current state and derive my own principles. As I've read the book fully I may add impressive principles as from Ray.

2. My background
As a child of loving parents I grew up in the south of Germany. In my teenage years I unfortunately developed a porn-addiction, which I luckily was able to come over as I was 18 after 5 years. With that I began my so called "improvement journey". I watched many inspirational coaches and read many articles on the topic. So said I got a better understanding of what's going on in life. As I'm writing this essay I'm 20.5 years old.

3. Realities

3.1 Personal arguments
We face them probably every day. How do we deal with sometimes irrational arguments with people we care about? And should we act in an argument with those we care less about? Arguments and disputes are inevitable when human beings interact, so there must be a good way handling these.

3.2 One sided request
With that I mean someone who want's something particularly from another one, which the other can't meet. This may be denial in love or simply a pen.

3.3 Handling in critical situations
Sometimes you find yourself in critical situations. These are those, where you are immediately about to loose control about yourself or a system you should be controlling. Examples of these are brawls or (irrationally) hustling in a car.

3.4 The good times
Even tough there are a lot of principles which refer to critical or bad behaviour, we should not forget about the times, when life is nice to us.

3.5 Handling temptations
As part of my recovering story from my porn addiction, I needed to build a strong mindset to overcome temptations and urges. Are there any principles, which you can follow when temptations are hitting you?

4. Bridge
As you've perhaps already noticed, a lot of those realities are caused by irrational behaviour. So is there a rational way to get trough this life without any problems? Well yes, but actually no. At last we are all human beings, so irrationality is part of our nature. These principles shall act as guideline to a fulfilling life. As we repeat those principles in our daily realities we may transfer them to habits or at least get a feeling for them.

5. Resulting principles
Overall I must say that there is an universal principle you can follow: "Loosen up your life a little bit" (s. Sadhguru). You need to understand that in comparison to the universe, your existence is rather meaningless - tomorrow you could be dead. We should face the reality with a calm and relaxed mindset and make the most out of our lifes. So laugh a little more, involve with the people around you, don't be dead serious.

This even applies to girls. I want to share an experience I've made with you: There was this girl I fell madly in love with. I tried almost everything to impress her, but she rejected me for whatever reason. Later - after I've had a good night of partying and drinking - I met up with her for some coffee. Due to my hangover I was in such a relaxed, calm and easygoing manner: I will never forget the look in her eyes on that day.

5.1 Accept that there are many types of human beings.
And they probably won't change.
Whatever you do in an argument, don't ever verbally assault someone. This is essentially a sign of weakness. Don't blame the other one for not understanding your point of view. You need to understand, that there are many types of human beings around the world. Some of them are just incompatible with your opinions - they have a different approach to living - they probably won't change. Nevertheless, allow yourself to see the world trough the eyes of others to understand their point of view, and maybe detect some issues in your own arguments. When they are intrusive, clearly state your standpoint in a decent but absolute manner.

Nobody is helped when you are angry - you'll only harm yourself.

5.2 Don't expect favours from others.
In an extreme scenario you must live this life lonely by yourself - so you better learn to get along with yourself. Try to do and finish everything by yourself without the help of others.

Others won't help you out of nowhere - the can't read your mind. If you want something from someone, state it clearly so that there are no misunderstandings. If they reject you, don't be needy: Focus on yourself.

5.3 If you are in a hurry, slow down.
Said to be said by Confucius.
Now, this is a thing you need to develop and experience by yourself. I've made the experience that I make worse impressions when I'm stressed and in a hurry than when I'm relaxed and I can fully engage in the moment. Also I make better decisions while being relaxed. So whenever I'm stressed out, I remind myself: Relax, slow down! Most of the times this has a good effect on me.

Of course the same may not apply in time critical situations.

5.4 Enjoy it, while it lasts.
While having sex, we often focus on finishing as fast as possible - we mostly are not anymore in control of ourselves and blinded by lust. This is our nature. Afterwards we may reflect how great the action was. But feeling the joy afterwards is not as nearly as satisfying as while you are in action. So while having sex you should enjoy your feelings, your desire. Take your time to really feel and reflect your emotions at every point in life.

The same applies to more profound things - for example eating a cookie. Have you ever caught yourself binge-eating a full pack of cookies in one session? What if I told you, that it would be much more satisfying, if you ate them slowly, recognizing every flavor in your bites? The best thing about eating cookies is the time between two cookies: It's when you wish you have another cookie to eat.

5.5 Make your decisions ahead.
Times will come, where temptations will hit you that much, that you can barely control yourself. Get to know your weaknesses! With the knowledge of these you can prepare yourself for the times when you can't control yourself - create a "safety net"! Failure - especially with temptations hitting you - is to be expected. You need to understand that it is necessary to learn from your failures. You can't expect a different result by doing the same thing over and over again. Making mistakes is acceptable. Falling in the same trap again is not.