I want to get back to the right track

My PMO started some 15 years ago when I was in a bad relationship, to get away from stress and depression. I wasn’t aware that I’m slowly developing ED, although my sex life was getting worse over the time. I’m in my early forties now.

When I started the last relationship, five years ago, my ED was already in an advanced phase and over time I became completely incapable to get an erection during sex. My girlfriend was full of understanding and she was waiting for me to solve the problem. I didn’t tell her the truth. I was always finding some excuses and I continued to watch porn. I couldn’t stop, although I knew that I have the problem. I was convincing myself that I will stop, but that didn’t happen.

The suddenly I decide to stop in January, but it was already too late. In February my girlfriend told me that she found another guy and that our relationship is over. She said that she needs physical love and that she has stopped loving me because I couldn’t be intimate with her. She was waiting for five years and I didn’t do anything about it. I was devastated and I’m still trying to recover from that. I feel so much guilt that I pushed her into the arms of another man.

During the last four months I relapsed only few times. Two weeks ago I had a first sex after a very long time and it wasn’t that bad. Last weekend I had a sex with the same woman but it seemed like the problem came back. My erection was not complete and I ejaculated after one minute. That broke my self-esteem and I started to watch porn again every day, for the last five days. I’m afraid that I completely destroyed the progress I managed to achieve.

I have to move on with my life to get over the relationship, but I’m not confident about dating new women. I don’t want to start a relationship with ED and PE, again.

Am I going to ruin all the progress I achieved now? Am I falling into addiction again?

It seems like I lost that initial determination to quit I had in January.

I would appreciate any advice on getting back to the right track.