I want to believe....

This is my first post here and actually first time posting about my porn addiction and first time realizing that it is an addiction and one that is slowly destroying my life. I have always had a strong sex drive, I started masturbating when I was 12 getting aroused by pictures of models and it just started escalating from there to watching hardcore porn when ever I could. I'm 33 now, 21 years of PMO and I think I'm ready to give it up for good.

During that time a lot actually happened, I got married at 21 and later divorced and fucked around with more women then most ever will but the urge never goes away, it is there like it was when I was younger. I have a good work ethic and whenever I've put my mind to something I've been able to accomplish it whether it was school or career. But putting things into perspective nofab is going to the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. I've started and relapsed a few times now. My highest streak so far has been 7 days.

Even in that short 7 day span I could feel some benefits in my overall energy and mood and I know now that I must see this through to at least 6 months. I'm realizing the patterns I'm falling into and the self assurances I'm giving myself thinking I can handle a few pictures or videos which pretty soon escalates to the same behavior as I've always had. It seems to me that the solution to breaking this addiction to realize the patterns and put a stop to it before it is too late.

I'm hoping this post will be the start of my nofab for the next 6 months. Any advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated.

Day 0.