You're just 18 years old... Lol Most people nowadays wait until 30's to START making a family... things to consider: - Can you and your partner afford them (education, food, toys)? - Can you and your partner make them happy? - How strong is the relationship with your partner, can you keep up during the years? so many factors... but once its done, its done, your life will change completely and you'll have a human being depending on you. cheers
I didnt say that. I just think that by 18 years old you still have lots of things to achieve in life besides building a family. And the fact that you posted this insecurity of yours in here is a sign that you crave for it indeed, but it may not be the most apropriate time to have children. If you're financially stable by 18 years, have a lovely wife and KNOW FOR SURE you can carry on with this responsibility seamlessly from here, go ahead. But as the title of this thread says, "want children" may be not enough of a justification for such responsibility.
Of course, I would only have them if everything became more stable, but it doesn't change me wishing to have them, and the point of my thread as asking if this desire can fuel porn addiction more, even know your not actually spreading your seed.
I dont know about you, but at least for me when I'm looking at porn I'm either watching it for the passion or the desire/lust of the action by itself. When I see something and I get triggered, its not directly associated with the desire of having children. (at least for me) I think this desire is an indirect co-relation... If you crave to have children, you can fantasise about their future caring instead of the direct act of conception for "making" them. It falls into the more love/bonding part of our brain than the reproductive one, it also has a weaker/different reward system than when your brain is telling you directly to have sex.
Awesome. It's completely great that you want to have children. A lot of men want to have kids, but usually it's older men. Why? Because for most of us it takes that much time to realize the importance of family. We're just not mature enough. So good for you!!! PMO is often used as a coping mechanism. So, while I don't think your specific desire would encourage PMO, the PMO might be used to *deal* with the fact that your desire is not satisfied. It might be used to deal with rejection, or loneliness, etc. So, no. The desire is not worsening your issue. BTW, having kids is hard. It takes a lot of time and energy. But, there is never a perfect time to have kids. There will never be a time in which you "can carry on with this responsibility seamlessly" as one response stated (what a load of horse manure). Nor is financial stability a requirement. It's nice to be financially stable, but lots of great, loving families come from poor neighborhoods (why would someone think otherwise)? The most important thing is to find the right partner. Find someone who is as dedicated as you are and in it for life. Find that, and you're in good shape, "through good times and bad".
I know great families that were married young. (It's not for everyone, certainly. Clearly, it's not for you.) Some people are just more mature than others and know what they want earlier. We don't all need to continue our adolescence into our 30's. If one is willing to give up their selfishness and pursue the responsibilities of supporting a family, good for them! Your perspective is a popular one in the modern, western cultures, but i'm here to tell you it is not universally true. Oh, and "carry on with this responsibility seamlessly"? Clearly you don't have kids.
Yes, I dont have kids. (yet) But just as someone can be mature enough to have children in their 18s I can also be mature enough to at least know the necessary precautions before commiting to a family with children. I agree with your statement, but in general from what I see in the 3º world contry that I live in, the conditions from a relatively young family with 18 years old parents isnt generally a good one. And I'd say most of them have 2-4 kids and barely can afford their education. I'm not saying that it would be the situation our friend here would be in, but as financial stability isnt a requirement, it does protect your children and assure them a quality living in our current society. Love is indeed the base for family building, but there are other pedestals that play along in the journey of educating and wishing the best you can for your children. It's not a coincidence that my perspective is the most popular within our society, that's exactly due to the fact that most demographics shows a lower quality of education and care for children born with young/negligent parents.
I remember being asked the question "would I have kids?" and telling the random dad who asked it that I was waiting until I was financially ready. He laughed and told me I would be waiting for the rest of my life. Touché random dad. Touché.
When I was 18 I had a pregnant girlfriend, by 19 I had a baby. Being a father is great. But, it's a lot of work. If you're up for it, go for it. Don't let nobody tell you it will ruin your life. My life is fine and more fulfilling because I have a kid.
Correlation does not imply causation. Your logic is erroneous because you imply it does. Even in your last response you write "young/negligent" as if they're synonymous! However, in an environment where a married couple actually WANTS children, those children are highly likely to thrive. The age of the parents is far, far less important than 1. married 2. intention. For more info on this logical fallacy see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation.
Erroneous? So do yours. 1. married You dont need to be married to conceive. In fact, the couple can divorce after. 2. intention Cool, I agree with this. But I can still assume that encouraging @Prodigal to have kids now can lead to a series of events that only him can overcome and you're defeding that "wanting" is just enough. It's difficult to not be bias since everyone here have difference perspectives, but my point of view is to defend that there is indeed external factors in raising a child that the parents will be or not be able to control depending over their experience. And experience is gained with study and time, so age plays a factor in a way or another. For me, neither of the 2 factors you mentioned surpass maturity. And maturity is something that is way more related to a individual sense of external awareness and self improvement. Anyway, I already gave my 2 cents on the original thread question and I'll not continue to debate this with you. It's not like @Prodigal will take notes from our divergent opinions to decide his family future anyway.
Calm down lads, don't get your knickers in a bunch. This conversation has gotten way off topic, I never asked anyone if I was ready or not, I only asked if the desire can fuel PMO, nothing more nothing less. And @Potato93 I don't think he was "encouraging" me having kids now, he was only stating that he saw me as more mature because I knew I wanted it in life, he never told me to have kids right away, he said to find the right woman and go from there.
