Hi guys, Today is the third relapsing day after 60 days of reboot (always when I relapse ,I still relapse for 2 or 3 days ) By the way, in the past relapse I used a homemade artificial sexual toy for the first time in my whole life and will be the last, and I'm afraid because I have some thoughts about it may make my reboot journey harder than before My questions are Do you think relapsing for multiple days and in each day multiple times after this long steak of reboot is Normal ? Do you think using this homemade sexual toy will make my reboot journey harder ? How should I punish myself because I can't forgive my self ? What do you think should I do ? Because I'm so depressed and frustrated
If by "normal" you mean common, yes, many people do that. But it's irrelevant to you, because a relapse repeats the damage to your brain. You really need to find a way to stop doing this. Yes, absolutely. It doesn't matter whether it's homemade or bought. Using a toy is a superstimulus (like porn), and causes your brain to associate sex with the wrong thing. That's the dumbest thing to do. Punishing yourself for an addiction is like punishing someone for having flu. If you had a friend who did this, what would you do? Not punish him, I hope! You would want to support him, encourage him, help him. So, that's what I want you to do. Find ways to support you, to encourage you, to help you. Be kind to you, as you would to a friend. Be gentle to you, as you would to a friend. Be understanding and tolerant. Accept that you have an addiction like an illness, and that you need to heal. Do not criticise yourself. Instead, be kind. Think of how you'd speak to a friend with the same problem, and then speak to you in the same way. Take a fresh piece of paper, and write down all of the bad things that PMO does to you. Things like making you depressed and frustrated, less capable at work, damaging your partner (if you have one) or your future partner, and your children (if you have any) or your future children, and so on. Once you have done that… … tear up the piece of paper, stomp on it, and throw it away. Because that will be in the past! Now, take a new piece of paper, and write down all the good things that going clean will do for you. Make you strong. Give you pride. Be a great role model. Be a better partner. Be a great Dad. Heal your brain. Make you cleverer. And so on. Read that piece of paper every morning when you get up, and every evening before you go to sleep. Post here often, so that you can get more encouragement and support. Find therapy if you can, to deal with your emotional problems. Good luck!
Thanks for your support But by asking will it make harder , I don't ask about (the association of things to porn), I'm asking about the urge will be more frequent or not, because I intended in worst situation if I relapsed again I will never use these things (sexual toys) again forever. Finally, can the one time of using these things make association or it must be repeated ?
That's a good question, Black Knight. I don't know. I think that every person is different, so let's see what happens with you. There is the "chaser effect", which makes your urges stronger in the first three or four days. Watch out for the chaser effect. It will, yes, but again it depends on each person. It might be a strong effect, or it might be a weak effect. You now intend to never again use it, so well done!
