I think I am doing nofap wrong...

You're not doing nofap wrong, my dude.
You're doing life wrong.
In fact, you pretty much acknowledged this yourself.

Confidence and presentability are things you need to work on right now. Fortunately for you, nofap will help in both aspects.

It's like driving a car. You have the car, the keys and the licence, but just not the confidence.

Go for it. Risk brings reward

 

Nofap has no superpowers my dude... Life is hard, with or without Nofap... The grind never gets easier for some of us. But that's not the point, the point is to go down like a warrior, with our head tall and our hands busy (building better lives).

Whatever you are doing, keep doing it, and wish you all the best in life.

 

Hi buddy,your life is not miserable and you do nofap right,you just need little correction.
You must stop doubt in yourself,you need to believe in yourself and whatever you doing try to be confident.
Sh!ts always happens and in life everyone have much problems which have big effects to their life.
I saw much idiots in my real life.Why idiots?Because they always think they are right,can't speak normally just screaming and whining,always start conflicts first without any need bla bla in general much bad habits.And that who i call idiots are always confident,why?Because they don't doubt in themselves,they believe they always right,that they know everything,but they are idiots.So point is believe in yourself,never blame yourself,try to have positive mindset,never think about bad things.All starts in head what you think about yourself is way how you appear between people,and in some reason why people behave in that way to you.Stay strong man,you can do this because you are amazing.

 

Maybe you should fight your insecurities?
I once watched a vlog of a youtuber (who later became a life coach or something) who had a psychological problems from kindergarden where a woman made him feel ashamed because of something. Since then he was afraid of receiving "no" response. So he decided to fight it and went thru a challenge "asking random people to do some weird favour just for the sake of getting "no" answer for 100 days daily". He would go to cafes and ask waitress to bring some weird shaped donuts or would go to a fancy hotel where he would approach some massive security guy to ask 100$ and other weird request. His ideas was to receive "no"s everyday for 100 day in a row. So he ended up defeating his fear and now he is a successful business person, life coach or something I don't remember. I will try to find his youtube channel later

 

Man, I really relate to your story. You are definitely not alone with that situation.

I have a similar background. Almost 30 years old, degree from a good university, all my friends and colleagues from university are doing very well, meanwhile I work at minimum wage at a ridiculous job that I'm way overqualified for, meeting with friends/colleagues/family are always so freakin embarrassing.

Basically my porn addiction kept me from applying for better jobs all this time. Is that the same reason for you as well why you are not applying for other jobs?

No sex since last relationship (6 years ago), followed by depression/suicidal thoughts and visiting psychiatrists. Terribly afraid of PIED. Girls either put me in the friendzone or I don't approach at all (I waited for them to take the initiative which of course never ever happens on this planet).

I think the main reason for the friendzone is that you/we approach way too late. Girls like it if you escalate very quickly and take the initiative (= quickly build physical contact). It shows confidence and they love that trait. Of course there's always the risk of rejection and it's easier said than done. But I guess without taking risks men will never get laid/get a GF, unless they are in the top 20% of attractiveness.

I'm only on day 9 of PMO, so I can't say anything about that yet, but what I experienced so far is that nofap already increased my confidence to simply talk to women. And that seems the same with you so that is at least a good start already.

 

Yep, I can relate to much of this, except im nearer to 50. Eeek!
I havent exactly been a hit with the ladies. Had a 8 year incel period after my childhood sweetheart, a wonderful gorgeous girl left me for another guy was just absolutely horrendous, i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy. Currently 9 years singlel, no "action" whatsoever. Last few girlfriends both pretty much said i was crap in bed (cos of ED and severe PE) which has wiped me clean of having any self confidence whatsoever.
I think what happens is your entire concepts of self worth and self esteem become totally invested in the relationship with women. And for guys like us, there is no relationship. Just years of not one woman taking the slightest interest in you, when you find someone you like you are rejected, which leads to more heartache and self doubt. This lack of confidence creeps into all areas of life, you have no confidence you can find a decent job, no confidence you can fit into a group of friends, no confidence to persue hobbies. You pretty much feel like shit, about everything, all the time and its very very tough.
This was where I found myself last year and i just couldnt take it anymore, and i made a vow to myself im gonna get this shit sorted becasue i am absolutely fucked off with feeling like this. Started all the usual self improvement stuff. Crucially i started psychotherapy which has been a huge help.
I also changed my antidepressants. There is a lot of crap on here about ADs. There is definitely a neurochemical factor, dopamine and seretonin mainly, in feeling like shit all the time for years and years. Lots of people say oh what about the sexual side effects, my attitude is ill cross that bridge later. I need to get my head straight and ADs absolutely 100% help me, its like night and day.
I just wanna say there is a way out of this, make a commitment to change, there is power in that. Roll your sleeves up and start fighting, harder than youve ever fought for anything, fight to believe in yourself. You dont have a choice, the only alternative is to give up, stay in bed and continue feeling like crap. Thats not going to happen.
You can do this. Fight. Start today.
Good luck

 

So as promised here is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vZXgApsPCQ
You can also watch thru how his 100 day of the challenge went, just search for his name on youtube.
I personally didn't practice it yet, so I can't share my own view on that, but it's seems legit to me. I m gonna practice that soon, just need to get some things sorted out. I want to get to know with random girls every day until my fear gets numbed.

 

Wow I'm glad I never heard of super pretties, except once a few years ago, I think it was after I got sober the second time when I had crippling hand pain and was about to lose my job. A friend got me an appointment to talk to someone with a disability who found really impressive ways to keep working on a job that you would think you would need the sense he had lost to do, he told me I would get super powers as a result of my growing, looming disability. I don't think that's how it worked out, but I did have a pretty eye opening sudden recovery and got to keep my very good job. Which is a cool relevant story, I used to hate my job, company and all my coworkers. By slowly continuing to practice letting go of resentment I suddenly found that I loved it all. Not every day but that same solution is always available when I get angry and I can quickly return to loving the way things are, back in touch with humility and gratitude. The same basic process has improved my relationship with my spouse. It started out pretty good but Rocky, we got along a lot better before we got married . And over the years I've learned to be more other centric, looking to help more than what can people do for me. I wouldn't have if I hadn't been an addict, my as got in the fire of active addiction and I was told that loving from the inside out was part of the solution, turns out it also feels better. Still hard for me, a humans default is selfishness. Anyways I can definitely say the internal journey has send to have a bigger effect on my external circumstances than all my striving to directly change those externals put together ever did.

 

my 2c.

"thank you for your friendship chocolates, I love it"

I'm specifically from the school of "dont buy them gifts until AFTER you've slept with them", and even then i try to avoid getting them gifts. Hey man, since you getting all the nice guy quotes, have you heard of this youtube guy dan bacon? he's got a good rep and i think some of what he says you may find interesting. Google "nice guys, dan bacon" and have a read or check out his vids.

"I always want to be likeable"
i hope you are doing this naturally (like some people may have a friendly and diplomatic demeanor) because there is a danger that you may look like you are sucking up/have no opinions of your own and not being genuine. people who try to be "likeable" are in my mind so agreeable/helpful, they irritate me because they just seem fake.

Finally, congrats on your 6-7 months nofap, that aint no joke, keep it up! tho it seems like you need to work on your confidence but what you have achieved takes a lot of heart, planning, willpower and discipline. Give yourself some credit for what you have done as well with the proper focus & planning. And maybe in other areas of your life, you just need to "tweak" your approach.

 

NoFap is about not fapping, not about fixing our life.

 

I absolutely relate to the initial post started on here. Heart broken at 22. 8 yrs single and on n off porn.

just turned 30 recently and 9 months + without pmo. I’m in the worst mental place one could imagine. Unbearable, everyday battling with anxiety, fear and depression. Along with many other symptoms like Sleepless nights, half awake sleeps etc. Sleeping through anxiety.

I have Been home for the past 7 months. And this is what I have been doing “the only alternative is to give up, stay in bed and continue feeling like crap”.

Any help in how to turn this around? I’m always in anxiety (head pain + tight body). Find myself not breathing properly, don’t feel relaxed. Feel pissed off.

I want to go out but I feel so paranoid etc. Live with Mum and younger sister. Makes me feel more anxious although they are always supportive. They even bring food
Upstairs to my room everyday.

Any advice. I feel done!

 

Just raise your ass and go hit the gym. You need to tire yourself physically. I'd suggest swimming, but if it's unavailable, then just work your ass off weight lifting

 

Right now I have anxiety (pains in the head and tight body). Sitting in my room feeling like “what the hell is going on with me”.

You’ve suggested I get up and hit the gym. I get panic around a lot
Of ppl, maybe becuase I feel shy, scared, paranoid etc. Haven’t been out of the house in long time.

do you think my sleep, rest and fear will subside if I go out for a run outside my house?

I feel a lot of fear! But also anger etc. Man I’m going crazy

 

Mate, go to your GP tomorrow and explain your symptoms. He/she will prescribe something that could change your life. Or rather, alleviate your mental health problems so you can change your life.

 

first of all, fuck you because you are not a virgin. look at my streak? guess what? im a 25 yo virgin. appreciate what you have lived cuz some of us, no matte rwhat we do, we will never live it.

second, you are here, so fapping does bother you obviously regardless of girls or not, right?

 

Eh I'm a 28 year old virgin, been single my whole life. Honestly, I'm fine.

Though I will admit it's getting even harder to make friends lately. Almost everyone I know wants to watch TV and play video games.

 

suure buddy boy surre. thats why you are a porn addict, cuz its "fine"

 

You can not be a porn addict and still have that problem. Because you constantly run into people who just aren't interested in socializing or talking in general.