I relapse after long streak ..i hate my self ..i want to die

We all know the feeling. But by your own admission, it was a long streak. Isn't that a good thing? But it's hard to see the good in anything immediately after a relapse. Whatever you do, don't binge. Don't take a stumble and turn it into a faceplant. All my best.

 

Hey man! Like the previous gentleman said, it sucks. We all been there, but be compassionate to yourself. You got a long streak maybe a record. That's awesome, now you have an opportunity man. You can turn your slip into a chance of doing better than last time you slipped. You can break the cycle and then go for a longer streak.

Relapsing is part of progress, without it we wouldn't learn how to do better and without it non of us would be porn addicts! Congratulate yourself for having a good streak and then go back at it again. The feelings of anger and disappointment don't want you to succeed, so try to put those aside.

Good luck!

 

How long was your streak? @Lovelyboy

 

I relapsed at 90 days too, then 49 after that. Other than those mostly a month and under streaks. We can't give up though!

 

OK - I’m just speculating here… but does your relapse time go down and down - simply because you’ve done it once and “the world didn’t end”? Is relapsing that bad?

For me I’m determined not to and so far doing OK - my big fear is if I do… how to build back up to this as the clean model is broken and it was “OK”.

Does that make any sense? Need to find some new motivation and determination not to fall off again… as you’ve lost the “I can’t fail” mode once you’ve fallen once.

 

You need to work on positive self talk. Sounds hard but as someone who struggles with similar issues it helps.

 

For me it wasn't because "nothing bad happened," it was more like "this is proof that I'm actually not good enough and don't have what it takes". I think that part of the problem is getting too big an ego investment in a streak, which is easy when you don't have much confidence in real life. Once I lost the illusion of nofap invincibility consecutive relapses became easier and easier as my actually very frail confidence shined through.

I've done a lot of internal work since then, so this time will be different. I'm gonna max out that counter and then forget all about days.