We all know the feeling of climax is great. It's really the only reason I do it. Just to get that high. Now I have to watch porn for 20 minutes otherwise I can't O. I can't really get it up anymore during normal sex. It's just not exciting anymore and I don't feel anything during sex. Can't even O with regular sex. I'm also the type that gets bored quickly. Hence I have to keep searching for 'new' stuff although I do come back to same old stuff now and then. I really want to stop MO. But I can't. I don't think I even WANT to because whenever I get that feeling.. of being aroused it bothers me and I want to get rid of that feeling. I never finish anything. Hell, I don't even have a job due to depression. I've been in (on and off) depression for over 8 years. I don't think I'll ever be able to quit honestly. I have blue pills from my GP. I even use 'recreationally' so I can O multiple times a day. Whenever I try to stop MO, I want to do it only more badly. It's like I have to. My life is boring anyway. I'm most of the time bored. I get out of the way of chores because I want to do somehting that brings satisfaction. But nothing really satisfies me except playing games and MO. I'm so scared that if I meet a nice girl. She will reject me because I can't get it up. That's what worries me more than the problem of MO itself. Anyway. I need to do something drastic, like get a chastity belt or somehting. I really don't feel my willpower is sufficient to break this habit.
