Hi Guys, I am so glad to know there are others like me and i am NOT a freak or wimp, I always struggled with the opposite sex from high school never had any meaningful relationships with any girls and things just got worse as I got older, until recently when I started seeing one girl for for nine months. Im not ugly or akward im average and friendly and respect women who respect me, however I struggle with girls i'm attracted to. But my addiction to porn specifically Female Domination porn were attractive girls would humiliate me and demand I send them money was the only thing that would arouse me since venturing into this fetish back when i was 16. I ruined the only relationship I ever had and all I succeeded in was hurting the one girl I ever loved by making her feel unwanted and undesired!! to the point she had no option but to break up with me. And now I have lost her. I buried my head in the sand over this issue always assuming Im a guy It'll happen soon enough no worries. How wrong was I!!!?? I actually hate these online dommes now they take pleasure in ruining guys lives and prey on the lonely guys with low self-steem (imagine this fetish was guys doing it to girls THERE'D BE A MEDIA OUTCRY of female abuse!!! But hey thats society!!).. There nothing but wh**es in my eyes, And its only guys there fucking over so who cares right!!!.. But yet this is the only thing that will arouse me... I need help!!! But there's no where to get help apart from here... I hate my addiction and it makes me hate myself!!! I have thought of ending it but to me thats a cowardly exit and not fair on my family & friends and my EX!! Im not one for hurting people who care for me!! So I wised up on that front!! Now I have been left picking up the pieces of a broken relationship, The girl who seen me for the real me and cared so much for me and made me feel wanted & loved (No cheesyness intended) and vice versa has left my life because I have never been able to express my addiction and the real reason I was struggling to have sex, I ultimatley made her feel undesired when she was a beautiful girl that I was lucky to have and was attracted to but these demented female domination fantasies always took over my head. Im the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and sometimes it can be my downfall, I am trying to better myself in every aspect of my life... But i have been sinking so much lately smoking marijuana heavily as it feels like its the only thing that helps me sleep at night to forget about everything... I know I shouldn't make excuses but this is how I feel... I have a chronic masterbation problem for female domination porn and really really am starting to feel like nothing but a failure of a man.It kinda scares me how much im addicted, I wonder am i to far gone is there really any end to this sick life destroying evil fetish!! I've decided to start NoFap today right now, No more shit!!!... 100 days... Im kicking this poision and the poisonous wh**res, female domanitrixes, weed and every negative thing in my life... Im going to focus on myself, And become the person i really am!!... kick all this piosin out of my life once and for all!!! And starting focusing on REAL women!!! Please any advice guys I would really appreciate it for anyone whos completed or also starting there basically rehab period!!! Regards
Hey! Sorry to hear this. Many of us have been in a similar situation. You are still quite shocked, but over time you will calm down and everything will be alright if you draw the right conclusions. Relationships are never coincidences. There is a reason the two of you got together, yes, but there is also a reason the two of you broke up. It might be due to your secret addiction, but there could be other reasons as well, more subtle, hidden. Regardless of that, you're right in recognizing that you need to overthink your habits and your lifestyle. To better yourself means to love yourself more, and this is a huge step towards a happy and fulfilled life. Good luck on your journey!
I have, in the past, used really aggressive language to help motivate myself. Statements like, "This ends today!" and "I WILL do this!" feel great and sound good, but those feelings won't sustain you when things get tough. It's best to begin planning ahead. Life is a rollercoaster, and no matter what you do, sometimes you're going to feel like dirt. Sometimes you'll feel great. Taking control of your life isn't about not feeling bad, ever, or not failing miserably ever, it's picking your battles wisely. If you do this well, your rollercoaster will at least net you going in a straight line. If you're sneaky, you might even get your rollercoaster to go uphill. Learn from your mistakes. If you lose something or someone in the process, use that depression and pain to help motivate you. In these moments you will have total clarity on how to do better next time, and it may even give you the courage to come clean with those you love. Learn from your successes. Celebrate every thing you have (running hot water and an Internet connection are LUXURIES). Use these moments to build your dreams. Take it one day at a time. Help others. Build meaningful connections with others. Learn everything there is to know about those you love. If someone you know is amazing at something, ask them to teach you. Find someone to reach out to when things get tough. Get their phone number.
Hi @HaveLostsoMuch I feel your pain, which is very similar to the one we all felt here when we started this program. It will be a big step if you know what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear. I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up. I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down: http://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.ph...t-during-my-first-100-days.45178/#post-309287 I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too: http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318 You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post: http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2 I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction. Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction. Fercho
