I quit for two years once, never more than a week since. Just need support

Hello, my name is not actually Archie; that's a character name from a TTRPG group I was in some time ago.

I'm a 32 year old guy from the Texas Panhandle; I was introduced to porn probably around the time I was 11 (possibly a little bit earlier, but it's fuzzy). The issue is this: in 2011, I actually quit cold-turkey, and it nearly killed me. I do not have a diagnosis, but some of the residual effects from that time at least read on paper like mild PTSD.

How I remember that first time going: 1 week of feeling normal; then 1 week of emotional dead-ness; after that, I was certain I had a heart attack (turned out to be the grandaddy of all panic attacks); then came the crash. This was a full-on mental breakdown chocked full of now-diagnosed depression and anxiety. I was inconsolable for maybe 3 months; I've never read a testimony like mine. One of the most prominent memories I have from that time are having every sin I could ever remember committing playing on repeat in my head, and an extreme desire to actually contact any and everyone who I may have ever wronged in even the slightest to beg for forgiveness.

I also remember just a few instances of, "maybe I should just end it," but it never lasted. I'm fortunate that I had my dog, and I'm fortunate that I found a good therapist. I was fortunate that my mother, who knew absolutely nothing about mental health, was willing to at least try and understand.

I'm now on my way to breaking into the mental health field, and still struggle with porn and masturbation (though not to anywhere near the extent as before). I like to think that I've gotten wiser as I've aged, which at least tempers my usage. I have been legitimately frightened of pursuing intimate relationships since all of that nastiness (12 years ago), and I'm ready to at least weed out the porn and masturbation usage. I feel like I've stagnated because of this habit/addiction.

I hope that this community is what I think it might be, and I'm looking forward to communicating with some of you.

Help me, Nobi-Fap Kenobi, You're my only hope!