I never had any sensitivity

Hello friends,

I've actually found a community that I've been searching for a long time but couldn't find until now. It's really important for me to share my story with you and hear your thoughts.

To be honest, my story of watching sexually explicit films goes back a long time. I started watching these films during my adolescence. However, the mistake I made was that I would msturbate for long periods. I would constantly try to find a better film, which would extend my msturbation sessions to 3-4 hours.

I continued like this for years. After years passed, I started experiencing erectile dysfunction. Even with a partner I really liked, I would only achieve about 5% erection. I always needed manual stimulation, and even if I did achieve full erection, it would disappear as soon as I stopped touching myself.

I managed to quit watching sexually explicit films without much difficulty. It wasn't hard for me. However, I absolutely can't quit msturbating. The reason I want to quit is because a psychiatrist I saw for only one session told me that if I quit msturbating for 2 months, I would see a change. I managed to quit for a month before, and my erection rate increased to around 20%. I even experienced erections without touching myself just by thinking of something sexual. But during stressful exam periods, I started doing it again every night. I think I relieve my stress this way. Now, I'm embarking on a journey to quit msturbating again.

I couldn't afford psychological support because of the high costs. But if you have any recommendations for a doctor that you find really helpful, please let me know. Or if there are people going through the same journey, they can reach out to me. We can progress together by talking.

 

Day 2

I read many posts on the forum today and I thought I was the only one with this problem. Now I realize that I am not alone. My biggest desire is to watch him get hard without touching him. I set out on a journey for this and I will succeed.

 

Day 5

I couldn't write here for a few days.

Actually, lately, I don't feel like doing anything. Usually, I completely give up on some periods, but after a few days, my momentary crises begin. But I'm sure about not doing it.

The reason I haven't been writing for a few days is that I've been preoccupied with some things. Somehow, I suddenly thought I could have HIV. I didn't have any suspicious sexual intercourse, but this doubt came to my mind. Maybe I got into this depression while trying to think of different things. Anyway, I got tested and found out that I'm negative.

I'm constantly trying to eat healthy. I take walks and I need to gain a few hobbies for myself, I'm thinking about these. If you have any experiences, you can share them with me.

After reading what I wrote, even if briefly, I would be very happy if you could comment. Knowing that I'm not alone will make me very happy. We will succeed together.

 

DAY 11,

I think I'm doing well. It's been 11 days since I've done M. Actually, there are times when I stop like this from time to time. My only fear is the sudden urge to start again. So far, I haven't struggled, and everything is going smoothly. I hang out with my friends and am thinking about starting sports. Sometimes I wonder if doing M would ruin this streak. But I definitely don't want to engage in sexual activity with anyone. I need to heal. Sometimes when this urge comes, I stop and wait, just observing it. If I recover, maybe I'll get enjoyment ten times greater than what I'm experiencing now. People who have sexual dysfunction like mine can write to me. Perhaps we can progress together.

 

The 21st day

It's been exactly 3 weeks. So far, I haven't had much desire to M. I've also given up on meeting strangers and failing. Instead of rushing to be with someone I find attractive outside, I think I can enjoy being with them more if I complete this streak. I've made this issue much bigger in my head than it needs to be. I was almost having sexual encounters with different people every week and failing. I can't believe I've been doing this for 8-9 years. Now, I want to live a life free from masturbation. I'm afraid my urges will come back, but there's no problem right now. I haven't set a clear goal for myself, but I might continue this streak for 3 months and then try a relationship. Hopefully, everything will get better. M is a big trap; I hope to break free from it and learn to do it only when necessary.

 

I used to watch porn a lot in the past years. From the age of 17 until I was 25. and I used to keep my masturbations long, like 2 hours. For the last 2 years I almost don't watch porn. It wasn't hard for me to give it up, but there are still things I need to give up (like virtual sex). The hardest thing for me was to stop masturbating and yes now my morning erections are more pronounced. I have seen the difference even when I stopped for 1 month before. Now I will try not to do it for 3 months. I'm 26 years old. You're actually very lucky to realise this now. You can send me a message to talk about it.

 

Day 23

My urges started to come slowly. But I'm sure about this. I know I get better when I don't do M. Now I'm going to go for a walk and have a chat with myself. Nothing is more valuable than me.

There are a lot of viruses around and having sex with people I don't know pushes me to catch them. I don't have to do that. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world to fall in love and experience these feelings with the person you love. And it is very important to know the value of the moment and what you have instead of always wanting more.

I will heal and we will heal.

 

Day 36

It's been over 1 month now. Sometimes I get urges, but not very intense. During the 36-day period, I never masturbated, but I had sexual intercourse 2 times. Since these relationships took place in the form of foreplay, I could not see much difference, but there was a half hardening. I am worried about what I will face in the future, but I want to get rid of masturbation. It has ruined my life. I also have new hobbies and spend time with them. I don't know if this will work. I started to think about sexuality all the time these days.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

 

Day 0,

Unfortunately, I'm back to square one. A few days ago I went on holiday to a different city. The city I went to was the place where I had my first sexual experience. I thought of my old days and it turned me on. First I started looking for a sexual partner, after a long search, I could not stand it and found someone I could meet online and I masturbated again while talking out loud. 38 days later, I am very unhappy that I did this. Actually, the problem is not that I did it 38 days later. I repeated it at the first urge. I don't know how to deal with urges, my brain is taking over me.

 

Day 4

I had company today. I had fewer urges because there were so many people. But I get bored in my environment, and I don't know what that will lead to.