I am feeling depressed since last year. when I relapsed after 5 months long streak... But my relapse Was not just ordinary relapse... It was a 8 months long Binge in which I fapped Obsessively like 7-8 times daily... and 20 times a day once... Now I m more than 9 months PMO free.. But still Depressed .. I havent laughed since january 2020... its been more than one year.. Earlier I thought Its because I m fapping like crazy.. but even Now when I m 9 months clean. The situation is same.... I dont feel like going with friends.. because When they will tell any funny thing I will not be able to laugh or I will fake my laugh which looks wired... .. My depression may also be due to My unemployment... But This problem was with me before 2020 also .. but I didnt have this condition like I hage now... may be that relapse guilt and excessive fapping caused my depression OR is it due to chemical that messed up when I fapped THIS amount of time. is it permanent.. will I have to be on medication forever ... What should I do now???? I was only waiting all these months I thought Its Is PAWS... but it didnt go even after 9 months??
First I'd say get some meds, second, get a therapist. I don't think PMO is the problem here, sounds to me like it's self medication for a different problem. I gotta say I'm impressed. Your poor junk, it deserves a rest.
Depression is tough and when I've experienced the worse of it it has seeped into and affected every area of my life. I often had no idea where it came from and at times it was debilitating, so much so that I would fall deeper and deeper into PMO and drink to ease the pain of it. That was not a helpful option. In the end I found being as active as I possibly could be was the answer. I ran a lot back in those days. I also walked a fair bit too. Basically, I found that movement was the best option. It didn't solve my issues, as it was clear my life needed work in many other areas. I had issues with family, friends, didn't want to work, hated my work, I felt directionless and lost. I was unsettled inside. I often feel exactly the same, but the depression isn't anything like in the old days because my life is so much fuller and involved. I also tried medication, but it made me worse, so if you do choose to take pills and you don't like the effects, I'd seriously consider stopping and take the natural route. Maybe try that first, even? Recovery isn't easy and especially when we try so hard to achieve great things (like your 5 month streak...Wow! Big positive. Amazing achievement!), and then fall flat on our faces after we feel we have given our best. That can knock the wind out of our sails, but it gets easier. Look online for How to beat depression using CBT. You find some really helpful things.
I tried exerciseing for 2 months , wim hof, taking omega 3 supplement.. But it didnt change anything..... I m not very hopeless like many depressed people do.. BUT.. I lost all my ability to laugh... Why cant I laugh? days in which I m hopefull Still I cant laugh .. , I stay silent all the time when with friends.. , when anything funny happens I fake laughter to show myself normal... But friends still ask why u silent .. and fake smile always look wierd ..
You say that, but there's this really cool trick/test you can try to help. When I first heard of it I thought it was a joke, but then I tried and amazingly it worked. What you do is just force a smile and keep that smile for as long as humanly possible. I don't mean a few seconds. I mean for a LONG TIME. 5, 10 15 minutes. As long as it takes. Eventually you will find yourself naturally and genuinely smiling. I don't offer refunds on top tips like this, so make the best of it! lol And get back to me when you find it works!
I came to your thread, because of the other thread. let me tell you, aside from things here and there, your story is almost exactly like mine. after being almost fap free, busting out streaks of 1-2 months without breaking a sweat, I fell into a binge mentality in may 2020, I relapsed every fucking day for 6 months straight almost, until late November 2020, it was hard, but I started getting benefits back a couple months after doing streak after streak again. but the part where you were doing great but then slipped into binging last year is exactly what happened to me, the feeling of this whole experience is pure pain. Pure pain knowing you where almost done the addiction and slipped up for so long. I may be wrong, but I’m gonna assume, during the months of binging, you were constantly planning to make it the last relapse THAT night. But you fell asleep or the thoughts came so strong that it just ended up being the next night you would quit, then the next, then the next, until it was 2-3-4-5 months down the road. It’s painful. But one thing I think you should know, is that nofap is a mentality thing, not saying nofap is placebo whatsoever, but if you have a positive mentality, it’s easier to enjoy the benefits of nofap.
You said it That last relapse couldent happen until it made a 8 month long binge which consist 10- 12 masturbation every day... That Guilt Is still present in me.. And That Depression which arose from that Couldnt go even after coming this far... I dont know If it will ever go away