i need some advice

Hey @Abird!

Talking to girls can be scary, feeling nervous is normal. But usually it isn’t as incredibly difficult as it seems.

As for being a good talker, that’s great it’ll definitely help! But WAY MORE importantly, focus on being a good active LISTENER. In general conversation, focus less on thinking about what you said and more about what she is saying. Girls have an amazing way to carry a conversation when you ask good questions.

As for approaching a girl, I think you mean asking her out, and it depends of course the context of how much you’ve known the person. You may already know this but it can be as simple as along the lines of “Hey I appreciate hanging out/talking with you, would you like to go get coffee/dinner/go to an event with me. I’d like to get to know you better.” Asking to go somewhere casual works best. And I usually don’t do it around her friends, I want her to have my attention and I think it means more if it’s more direct. It could work with friends but I always do better personally with 1-1 so I play to my strength.

As for the height thing, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to have that preference. Just don’t let it cross out other potential girls who you can talk well with/work with your personality.

For me a high standard of character and personality that I know I mesh with can be hard enough to find. So I put less emphasis on physical features.

But good luck out there and I hope this somewhat helps!!

 

Exact same situation happened to me: Beautiful girl at a festival, she was alone -she was standing around, looking bored. I had no idea what to say to her

 

Straight compliments are bad - they do not leave any room for a conversation, only "thanks." Not to mention, compliments on physical attributes clearly demonstrate that you are not interested in them as a person at all.

Opinion questions are good, they get people talking. If the question has a yes/no answer, don't ask it.

Cocky and funny is nice, if you are blessed with the situation where it's possible (I once had a girl get pushed into me at a club, my response: "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were coming onto me!" her response, "Maaaybe!" It was gold.).

You could even try something like, "Hi, I'm conducting a little informal research on women's perspectives on dating in the modern era. What are your thoughts on being approached by interested parties in social situations?"

And dude: if you're better in groups, then engaging a group of girls is what you should aim for - play to your strengths!