I might have an escort problem...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Mattew, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Actually it's not that i might have an escort problem, i have it...

    Had a wet dream tonight, and it really triggered me, this morning i was craving sex so much i couldn't stop me from searching an escort, and i did met one.

    In my 240 days of no pmo i've been able to never watch porn, but after the first 5 month i couldn't hold it anymore and meet an escort. And another. And then various sexy massage, and then another escort...

    To make it short, i have an escort problem, and i probably had it since 2\3 years. I've always been able to cool it down and not spend too much money (more or less 200/250 per month), but the fact is that i don't want to indulge in that behavior.
    I don't want to pay women, i don't want to give money to that kind of business, and most of all i don't want to go with woman who could be exploited without me knowing. I just don't want to be a part of that, it makes me sick, but it is the only way i can get sex, which is quite a basic need...

    I stopped porn to look myself and other people in the eyes, but i can't do that if i still meet escort. I've been able to stop porn, but i can't control myself to stop this...

    I probably write this down more to make a point for myself, but if others here have the same proble, and maybe solve it, i'm really willing to hear and talk...
     
    4DCreator likes this.
  2. William Wallace

    William Wallace Fapstronaut

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    You have substituted E for P. They are very similar......fantasy that is not real. Escorts can be very addicting, maybe more so than P.
    Please do everything in your power to stop this. I too have struggled with this and I know how hard it can be to stop, but it must be done.
    Once you stop both P and E, you will start rewiring your brain which in time, will help you with meeting REAL people who are not engaging with you for business purposes only. There are too many negative results that are at stake while engaging with E’s. You already named one of them regarding the exploitation factor.
    Good luck to you my friend.
     
  3. Coolyorky

    Coolyorky Fapstronaut

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    You need a proper relationship mate. Even if it’s friends with benefits
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  4. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man.

    Did you stop completely going with escort?
    How bad was it for you? Were you spending a lot of money?
     
  5. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely, but i'm unable to get it.
     
  6. A nu start

    A nu start Fapstronaut

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    Why are you unable to get it? Can you give me more background info about yourself even via private message if you like?

    I struggled with the exact same thing as you for a almost a year, but I got past it.
     
  7. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I never had a girlfriend in my whole life, i've been only with escorts.

    I just have never been able to have any kind of relationship with girls, not even friends, it's probably due to use of porn from a young age and my terrible relationship with my mother (at least, i think that's the motivation).
     
    Juannr likes this.
  8. A nu start

    A nu start Fapstronaut

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    Im sorry to hear about that. I know quite a few people in your situation personally, but there's no doubt you can overcome anything if you really want it bad enough. You were made no different to anyone else, you can be as strong as anyone.. You just need to find that inner strength which I know is very hard to do.

    The only concrete thing I can recommend is to STOP the porn. STOP the escorts. When you feel like you are ready, and when you are feeling pretty good about yourself (which you will) - you might get that courage to say hi to a girl. Ask her how her day has been.

    One small step at a time is the only thing you can do. 234 days without porn is an amazing achievement considering how easy it is to access. You obviously have a good amount of will power when you want to use it.

    My thoughts are with you.
     
    Juannr and GA93JDeereboy like this.
  9. Reizenn

    Reizenn New Fapstronaut

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    Hey i don't know you neither do you know me!

    But i wanna say i have been same position as you (Still not have gf out of that..) Had bad relationship with my mum bad at talking to make friends or even talking to a girl is way out of a question at that moment. I did escort which i lost my virgin life at i found this very sad but anyway.

    But for me that changed but dont get me wrong i am still in progress so i am not at there yet. And i guess you wanna know how i stopped fapping and my escort stuff?

    For me the first step was simple! Plan your day so much that YOU don't have time for ESCORT or Fapping! Really i made my self so much bussy with stuff that improved my life like the gym, reading book, Finding my purpose stuff like.

    You what i did when a day came i couldn't think of any thing else but porn or a escort? I watched a motivational video' and did 30 pushup which was my limit just enough that i got it out of my head for that moment. But after that you will not think about porn or a escort for around 5-30 minutes use that time wise. Best thing that helped me was question myself ''After i am done with a escort how do feel?Pretty lonely .. '' Seriously just think deep about it! She doesn't care after she gets paid! I feel not better after doing it with her and it even makes me little angry that i gave a girl money just to have sex and she doesn't even care bit about it!

    if you do this eveytime you think about a escort or fapping my friend you feel like a god the next morning you wake up because:

    1. You save properly lot of money that you can use for your future or invest in getting friends or a gf.
    2. Your dopamine and testosterone are gonna keep raising more and more just enough to feel comfy with yourself.
    3. Because you dont have sex your might gonna convince yourself to talk to girls because you didn't do it with a escort so that energy is gonna be your bestfriend when you talk to girls and i know like no other now you will need that energy it's gonna change you from a 4 to a 8 as person being.

    (Btw little cheat i use to boost my energy to do stuff, i use 1 coffee for 2-4 hours sounds crazy but works. second Omega3 tablets they are fish oil tablets which boosted my mind bit more than normal. I also have ADHD so for me it was really challenge to not masturbate or do a escort because i couldn't chill out and forget about it. )

    But as i said before plan you day like crazy at first this helps you mind to not think about escort :-D . At least it did it for me and you wanna know which motivational vid's i watched ? maybe these will help:
    (Check my forum: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/life-hacks-that-helped-me.205036/ )



    (I also readed his book: EXTREME OWNERSHIP)

    So let me know what think about my idea. If you are interested and wanna know more you can always message me and i can explain in more detail how i pulled all of this off.
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  10. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot man, but i already had my self improvement period, after some year being into that, it's not useful anymore. But it's good at your age.
     
  11. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Threads like this is what I like to see. I'm in the same boat. Issues with P and E. I need to find that inner confidence and power we all have to just push thru this to NEVER
    go back to it EVER again!
     
    William Wallace likes this.
  12. William Wallace

    William Wallace Fapstronaut

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    I had made the decision to stop quite a while ago after many years of visiting massage parlors. I have had some relapses along the way. I feel at this time I have a pretty good handle on it but I can never let my guard down because the compulsion to relapse can sneak up pretty damn quick.

    The money I spent was not the main issue......the feeling of guilt and dread after the act is far more worse......totally not worth it.
     
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  13. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. Also, are you ok in finding girls? I mean, do you have a wife/girlfriend or can you easily find one?

    The problem for me is being zero with woman, the belief in my head that they don't like me an never will is so overwhelming that telling myself to stop escorts forever would mean never being with a woman again.
    I've been able to do that with porn (i decided to stop that forever anyway, if i will be able to), but accepting never being with a beautiful lady again is super hard...
     
  14. William Wallace

    William Wallace Fapstronaut

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    I have a wife, but we do not have sex.....pretty complicated.
    The belief in your head that is telling you that a women will NEVER like you is negative self talk and is simply untrue.
    You have gone 236 days without P but in reality you have been replacing it with E. You need to stop the E as well as the P so you can re-wire your brain. I would suggest a hard re-boot....no O as well for 90 days.....has helped me. In time you will start seeing positive changes.
    I wish you the best.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, about the hard mode, i've being in hard mode for the first 160 days (no porn, no masturbation, no sex, no escorts, no nothing), but i couldn't take that anymore, i needed sex...i'll try again hard mode...
     
  16. William Wallace

    William Wallace Fapstronaut

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    Just curious......do you work out, belong to a gym? Exercise helps me a lot plus the gym is a good place to meet women with common interests of physical fitness.
     
  17. I can see your point and I don't judge you for seeing an escort I used to spend a lot of time when I was younger in strip clubs before I got sick of paying them and thought I was worth more. Weather your dating a normal girl or seeing an escort you going to have to pay , unless you meet some women who just wants to hook up with no strings attached and isn't marred or messed up in the head which is rare I know I look;) . Both sides have there pros and cons . You have to do whats best for you
     
  18. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    Try tinder. They're still whores but significantly cheaper.
     
    lukasz.luk likes this.
  19. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Tried that, no matches...

    Man, i live in Italy, girls are not easy at all...
     
  20. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    No, i work out at home, but i was planning to starting with the gy this month.
     

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