I know my reason

I know why I’m on earth. I know precisely why and it’s to help others but I won’t divulge details.

However to reach this purpose I need to remove porn from my life and all attraction to women. I don’t care for sexism but I am not interested in women today. Most I’ve spoken to are interested in sex and not a meaningful relationship and honestly I feel like God wants me to stay celibate. So, I will use everything in my power to resist the urge for romance and companionship. I crave that far more than sex but I use porn and relationship asmr (cringe, I know) to fill the void of the loneliness that eats my soul. But I’m done with those drugs. I’m done with all drugs including porn and pseudo relationships. I will from now on, no matter what, focus on God’s Word, working for something meaningful, and no matter what resist women. I will live and die for my purpose. I will not give into the instant gratification of Satan.

I will live alone. I will stay a voluntary celibate. I will work on helping this world. I will deny my urges. I will succeed even if it’s the last thing I do.