I’ve been m since around the age of 6. I was never molested or taught to touch myself, it just happened naturally. I began looking at internet porn around age 13 and I’ve struggled with it ever since. My body used to shake tremendously when I’d look at it as a teen - early 20’s (nervous?). But now I don’t at all, which I don’t see as a good sign. :-/ As I’ve gotten older and struggled with this, I’ve learned that my reliance on PMO (and addictions in general work like this) is a symptom of deeper issues. PMO “helped” (I use that word loosely, since it actualllu didn’t help!) me cope with struggles as a teenager, giving me temporary pleasure to mask a lot of pain & stress. So I programmed myself (much like the Pavlov experiment) to seek PMO in times of stress and sadness. Ive attempted to quit PMO several times over the past 20 years. The longest I’ve ever gone without PMO was approximately 40 days before relapsing and then giving up. Each time deleting everything. In those 40ish days PMO free, I felt the benefits that come from obstaining from it. I can only imagine how I’d feed 90 days or 6 months with no PMO. I am now married and while my SO (Significant Other) knows about my struggle, it’s not really understood. They’ve even told me that it isn’t a big deal to them if I look at P. They don’t realize that for someone like me, it is a big deal. To someone who doesn’t have an issue with it, where it hasn’t controlled their life and taken away opportunities...sure I can see why maybe it’s not a big deal. However, having been through what I have, I don’t see how this stuff is beneficial to anybody! So what has brought me here? Because we are working on starting our family and I’ve been hoping to have this taken care of before we bring kids into the mix. I need help obstaining from P and M, and limiting O with my SO only rather than with M (with or without P.) I love my SO more than I can describe and while my sex drive is a lot higher, I would much rather save it for the SO and build up my mojo! I know I can do this. Your personal stories and experiences shared here attest to that. I’m determined to conquer this PM habit once and for all and learn to cope with the stresses of life differently.
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you. You are well above the curve of guys which join this forum. You are aware that PMO is not the problem but the solution we choose to deal with deeper issues. Dealing with your deeper issues and finding healthy and constructive ways of dealing with those issues will substantially help you minimize the desire to run to P or M for escape or comfort. The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
Welcome. Well done on 1 day clean! Glad you are here. In addition to @D . J . 's good advice, maybe think about these things. Take some time to read the reboot material and come up with a plan for what you will do when you are faced with urges. It has good advice, so don't skip it! Perhaps start writing a journal - if you feel comfortable telling people about happened and what's going on now, you will start to feel accountable to them. You may even inspire others. It's a nice feeling! This will help your recovery. Also, IRL, try to add something into your life that makes you the kind of person who doesn't engage in PMO. Think about doing: Something you enjoy Something you're good at Something important Something for somebody else, without thought of reward (and if you DO get an unintended reward, do something ELSE, perhaps for a different person or group). Read the journals of others - we all learn from each other. For example, I received the above good advice from a far more experienced member of the community who shared his knowledge. Don't just stay within your own age group or part of the world. Read, learn, apply. Look around the forums, get to know people. Everyone is friendly, and will try to support you. We're all in the same boat here. Be kind to others and others will be kind to you, both here and IRL. I wish you a successful reboot.
