I keep dropping subtle hints about my loneliness/virginity to my coworkers

I kind of understand where you're coming from. I was fortunate enough to lose my virginity pretty early and have a decent sex life as a young adult... so that got me out of some social rejection.

But... I've always been a bit of a loner and that's where I can seriously relate to you. My advice to you, which I only rediscovered and started following myself a short while ago, is to just try to be okay with it. Don't let others make you mistake their needs for your own.

Most people find it unthinkable to not be constantly pursuing a social life. I'm sure what you're talking about is the weird looks you get when you're asked on Friday what you're doing tonight and you don't have an answer that involves bright lights and crowds of people and food and drink and staying up late. You don't have to be directly rude to them about it, but in your own head... turn that idea around... you're the one with the strength, you can still be happy without those things... it is they who are needy and have to have all of these things in order to feel happy. Of course the next level of evolution is to just think of them as different.

Anyway, consider that. Do you want more of a social life? Or do others think you should want it, and you don't find it convenient to make them understand you don't want it?

Same goes for sex drive. Maybe you do want more sex. Or in that case it's an even more powerful influence than a few coworkers... Hollywood insists you should be having sex several times a week.

Get to know yourself... loners are good at that but easily get knocked out of practice by the normies.

 

Control yourself.

 

I mean that when you are at work or in public, control yourself.

Consider doing a 90 day hard mode reboot. It will help you.

 

Be direct instead of trying to side step the issue. Off the clock talk to someone you can trust about this, don't have an in depth conversation about losing your virginity while at work. The easiest and most obvious solution is to pay someone but it seems like you would rather not do this. Why don't you wanna go into NYC for a night?

 

That's a good reason and you're better off not paying for it. You most likely would get addicted to the feeling and lose all motivation to go out and try and get the regular way. Hopefully this year is your year!

 

What do you do when you're off work? Is the answer that you go home and spend the time alone all evening and then go back to work the next day? If so, find things you like to do and socialize through those things instead of making socializing or dating the absolute goal. Go to the gym to go to the gym. Join a fitness class to participate in the fitness class. Join a board game group to go play board games. Volunteer to make lunch bags at church to make lunch bags at church. Even if you don't meet someone doing these things, when you meet someone, the fact that you have healthy hobbies will be very attractive to most women. My husband played DnD and invited me to small groups to play games in his board game collection and invited me to church with him, etc. I got to know him outside of dating first and got a glimpse of what our lives might entail if we made it long term. I enjoyed that time together, so I committed and we still enjoy doing all of those things together. It set us up with a good outlet to form a non-awkward friendship first that really quickly turned into more because his activity and activeness in life was really enticing to want to join in on.
I would not have been interested if we'd met at a football game (eg, because I don't party) that he'd been dragged to because he told his coworkers he wanted to get laid.

 

Just my opinion but your virginity is a topic that should not be discussed with co-workers at work. It's close to the line of sexual harrassment and better to avoid the topic all together while at work. Keep your work relationships professional and courteous but also know when you are crossing the line or getting close to it. if you are going to share personal information like with a co-worker it should be off company time and off company property.

 

It is an achievement unto itself. It will give you self-esteem, and out of that, more courage.

 

I feel like the virginity is the last thing people need to worry about. When you still have it you feel dignity and pride and I felt more apart of myself. Not sure if anybody else has felt this or not?

It’s a great moral to have inside of you though. People at my High School didn’t care about this and it lead me to disgust feelings about keeping my virginity. I didn’t understand the point of loosing it that early on. Most kids made fun of me because I didn’t loose it yet. I didn’t masturbate either and one friend thought I was not normal.


Bud. One thing I can tell you is don’t worry about it and feel sorry for your self on the fact you haven’t lost it yet. I felt this way a long time ago and it only was destruction for some possible relationships.

I think you should meditate on these feelings at work and not let your co workers know. People saw this as needy for me in my early 20’s I always complained about not having a gf and I realized it was only a downfall for attracting it. I’ve had several people tell me to let it go and it will unexpectedly happen and pretty much they were right even though I had doubts.

 

Bro some Woman find that as an extreme turn on. Especially if you tell them you’d like to have someone close as your first. I didn’t loose mine in a real relationship but we were dating and she said she found it flattering and understood.

If they sincerely care about you they won’t care about it. Yes Some aggressive woman need a man that has “experience” most nice girls will be okay with it, usually the more aggressive are the ones you want to avoid.