I just remembered and discovered when and why i feel guilty

If anyone was here for since july 2016 you would remember me always making a thread in the rebooting "I feel guilty" about my 113 day reboot that its not legit or whatever. I just remembered why and when it started
In around july the beginning Around when i first joined nofap, My friend (My only friend i have) Started being a dick and kept making excuses not to hang out with me and i was really lonely and pissed. I started to get really depressed and At one point i declared him no longer my friend. He kept saying he was sore , He was prob PMOING. Anyways aroundthen the guilt started. What could this mean? Is it because i dont have a friend i feel guilty? I need somebody to helpm