I have POIS after 5 years of being clean

Being alone is not a good prospect. I need a company, it heals on levels unatainable if you are solo. My orgasm has a power to ruin a relationship tho. It just fucks me up.

Yes I have years of very conservative sexual life in terms of ejaculation. But I dont feel on some significantly different level.

After I orgasm I get str8 to the bottom. The pit of feeling like ugly dirty stupid anxious weak peace of shit with tinnitus and cracking joints The cold water feels colder. Weights feels bigger. Willpower to do stuff vanishes. Ability to relate to ppl and lift em up - gone. Is that the default I lived in before? I dont think so... I dont know honestly. Its so long ago. Deffo I did not feel borderline suicidal after my 4th orgasm in a row and 120th orgasm in a month before. Now I feel like that when I have 1 O in 3 months

Ive read about a person who had similar path as me.

Very long P abuse. Went thru the phase of PIED. DE. PE and than last 2 years of POIS. I might be at that part now.

I honestly have NO idea what is going on and what is the cause.

I know my last orgasm basically ruined very nice relationship at its birth.

I was crying yesterday. Its not fun loosing ppl you like just like that. It hurts. It hurts even more in that weakened state of mind. Thanks god I have breathing and other techniques to overcome these huge emotions.

I will go to psychiatrist in few days. Already set a appointment. Not for drugs. But for help to deal with traumas I had in my past. I lived thru some serious shit as a small kid and than I watched my mom die for 6 years of cancer as a teenager.

Stuff like that can make u cope with PMO..

Sry for long shitpost

Ps: I will never give up

 

Well I agree with your posts partially ofc. After 1 orgasm in 3 months, Im ecerything BUT a man without a semen. But I get your grip.

I should accept how it is with me. But I did not get to the level Im at by "accepting dire fate" so to speak.

 

I dont know how the O from M feels but O with woman = POIS for me. Cant imagine M would be any better.

Non ejaculatory sex was great, had it for year with my ex and I was 100% satisfied.

I had no issue with O untill I started NoFap when I was 34. Now Im about to be 39 soon. Dont believe the 5 years of age are the reason of POIS.

Its the NoFap for me l. Quite evident...but theres no way back now...

 

Good attitude. I believe nothing happens by chance. Everything has a reason. I also know why I have POIS. Its there so I go on with Semen Retention. I know SR is alligned with my spiritual goals in life. I know that 1 year of SR moves me closer to the universe, my mind was a level above 99% of ppl I met. And I felt I was starting to shape my reality with big results. Ofc my body and mind does not like loosing that, more so that that loss has no reason. Theres no baby born...

Its possible to have fullfilling relationship on SR. But we need openminded partners which are on similar level as we are. Basic b1ttch will not cut it.

Stay strong

 

Hard to put in words. Everyone I talked to, no matter if male or female, I felt consciousness supremacy over them. It sounds like ego tripping but it isn, its description of occurance. I used that not to gain advantage of them, but to make em feel good and to help them.

In relation to universe, I felt being more understanding to why things are happening (or not happening) and more in control of my reality, creating it.

All this sounds like some generic ezo crap but it was not.

Around 200 to 300 days mark, things start to change drastically to me. It feels like leaving humanity behind and transceding to a level of consciousness above that. Thats the main point I try to make here - finally Ive managed that...

Its scary process. Thats why I ended my 1st 200 days streak. Really. Only reason I ended that streak was the feeling of turning "alien" as of not classic human consciousness anymore.

The drop from the clean heights of that back to low frequency dirt of human meatbag was SO PAINFUL and disgusting.

Next time I did not end at 200 and pushed to 300 because SPARTA! The orgasm afterwards took everything away. My penis looked like a lightning bolt went thru it afterwards the O.. and I was back at day 1.

The talks about a orgasm pushing u back only few days/weeks is a lie. ONE orgasm will take everything away from u in such a streaks. And the way of orgasm does not matter. Only thing different might be, that u concieved a strong child. But the consequences for u will be the same if u just spilled it on the floor....

If u was on day 300, it will take 300 days to get back to that level. Thats the truth ppl do not want to hear or understand. 1 minute of u loosing control and its all DONE. Than u will have a lot of time to contemplate on it.. if it was worth it. Hint: if u did not concieve a child, it absolutely was NOT

 

So how should I describe elevated consciousness and using it to help others so it does not sound like egotrip to you? If this is what you get from it, answering anything else is a loss of time for me.

Also. Get some streak on and than come tell us how it feels after a year, might be more valuable to everybody.

I did not get less emotions, If I did, I would describe that instead of describing the things Ive actually mentioned.

 

I wrote it might sound like that but it isnt. Anyway, this is getting nowhere fast, good luck.

 

I had 1 orgasm with my new gf 3 weeks ago. It was after 3 months celibacy. I usually end up orgasming for a bonding reasons.. Overal this year it was Id say 10 or 15 orgasms all with women. This year Ive decided to give orgasms a test, results were dire I have not found a way around that... I do not regret this tho, it was a conscious decission.

Did not masturbate for few years.
Have not seen porn for almost 5 years.

Thats about it on my "streak" ,)

Why u ask?