I have no idea what to call this post so im just going say the pain of the heart

So um im just going type i went let it all out on paper if something is not grammer correct dont care. So its been 15 days since i mastrubated and watched porn i had bigger streaks before so thisaint anything new for me. But my problem is loneliness and heart ace and pain. Littel back storyi had alot of sex but still i never made love. Allthe women that i really cared about broke me.In the last 5 days i met 2 great women . One was in love with someone else and the other just messaged me saying she wants to just be friends. I hate myself i just feel like im nothing that all i am is good for sexs. My heart has been broken so many times these last 2 years i dont really know anything anymore. On the outside i joke i smile i dance not afraid to go tak to ppl on the street (like last night i went up to a women on a bus and cahtted with her and got her number) so im nit afraid but inside i hate myself i cry i think im a pieace of shit. I just want love. Im a good looking dude i workout i eat healthy im fun i have hobbies and outgoing and look at life diffrent from the norm my only prob may be im to direct im not suitale but i belive in honesty. LIsten im not writting this so you guys can comfort me no disrespect or that you an tell me that the right one will come along blah blah when when im 40 im 26 now. Part of me wants to mastrubate but for what to feel happy for 2 minutes thats not going help i still just feel im the guy girls have sex with not the guy that they snuggle next to .

 

Maybe you convey this inner person more than you realise, so women see you as a jackhammer to pound their pussy.

 

You need to find the right person, If you truly want to be with someone because in my opinion, it seems like you need a person you can connect with, share laughs with, enjoy hobbies with, etc. Your not getting the full on chemistry with these women your fooling around with, only the "sex" aspect of it. Sometimes things take time to find the right person BUT I would say your already progressing since you think you know what "flaws" you have to fix... Ultimately that's the next step into "loving yourself" and that's what you need to do at the end of the day . Your spirit means well, you just need a little more direction to "YOUR" right path .