I have been lonely for quite some time...

I can only speak for myself, but i too am dealing with being lonely. I've been more reserved since i was in late middle school... What seemed to be the trigger for me, now that I have been meditating and observing my behavior back then, was P and youtube.. I feel like watching so much youtube growing up (like old pewdiepie, markiplier, gaming channels) I think i felt like i had that social connection in a sad way. Like my brain told me this is what having friends was like.. Meanwhile i was depressed and anxiety was growing in me like weeds.. And with P , it made me have those biological urges that weren't necessary and something i still struggle with today..

Do you have a bad P problem? or youtube addiction or any other addiction that may be "unhealthy"? .. I feel like addiction really sucks the fun out of life for us and we may not even notice what is happening.. So dealing with my addictions and trying to slowly integrate social interactions has been what i've been trying to do myself.. You may find comfort in meditating as well.. Maybe just think that, those people you were hanging out with may have been nice but didn't connect with you because you were just two different sets of people. You may find that another group or just even one person is more accepting of you, just have to go out there and test the waters that's what im trying to do myself.. I wish you the best of luck and if you wanna keep in touch, im always open ears!

 

Yeah, first of all you are not alone. I have a same problem like you had. My friends aren't bad people, but i'am the one fail to express my emotions when i talk to them. I've into loneliness for about 2 years rn and honestly i almost forgot how the feel when you talk to your friends or having a good conversation with people in general. But yes, there is a hope. I always feel like i can express my feeling again when i reach 1 week without PMO but here is the problem, reaching one week without porn is a real fight to me.

I just want to tell you that you are not alone, i'am pretty sure that here in this community, so many people who had the same problem like you, and how to fix is stop watching porn. If you have reach a month without PMO and the problem is still exist, they might be a clinical problem and i would recomend you to go to psychiatry. Hope this is helpful and sorry for my bad english