I have a queer crush on my close friend

I have a close friend I've been having romantic feelings towards. I'm a point where I'm trying to looking to transform my relationship with my gender and sexuality. I just relapsed after a 13 days streak and when I watch porn, it generally follows a misogynistic, hetero-patriachal script. I really value our friendship. I guess just staying open and being honest with myself and them whatever happens is the only real way forward, but I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation? I'm nonbinary/gender fluid/trans and assigned male at birth. They are a queer woman/genderfluid person. I got a reading from the I ching saying to stay receptive and open with the feminine principle, and not try to guide the situation.