I am a 29 year old male, and I have a porn addiction / masturbation problem. I have realized that I have had a problem for quite some time - and have tried to quit with no success. But, I don't think I've taken the right steps in the past. I have previously deleted accounts, installed blockers, etc., but within a couple weeks would end up back where I started. I have performed on cam (not for money but for the thrill of exhibitionism) for almost 7 years. I masturbated for 5 hours last night and 2 hours this morning upon waking. I felt sick and disgusted with myself. I legitimately walked to the dumpster behind my apartment complex, pitched my computer (after wiping it clean) and the webcam. I know that I don't have the self control to stop watching porn and masturbating without getting rid of my access to it. Now I know I have a phone and cannot get rid of that, but this is just the first step. My second step is telling someone I have a problem - which is why I turned here. I hope to tell someone in my immediate life soon, but I don't think I'm ready for that step yet. This, is an admission of my problem and my first real attempt towards actual change. I need some accountability, some form of empathy from others who have gone through this, which is why I am here. Help hold me accountable.
First of all, welcome and congratulations on your desire to attack this. I think you'll find an abundance of support here at NoFap. It's a great source to add to a solid foundation of recovery tools. The more you have, the more you can turn to when you are feeling weak. And so, wow! Congrats on taking such a bold (and expensive?) move as throwing your computer away. If you didn't need it, then that was an excellent step. From what you write, it sounds like you are really serious about beating this. If you are looking for an accountability partner, I'd be happy to assist you if possible. Just send me a direct message. Otherwise, you can also post a message in the Accountability Partners section stating what specifically you are looking for and I'm sure others will offer as well. Regarding turning to someone in your real life, yeah, that's tough. It took me a while to tell anyone beyond my therapist and my wife. But I'm glad that my best friend knows. He's been very supportive overall and occasionally has good insights. Yet I find my best resources have been with people here online. (I have yet to find a live group in my area.) Good luck and look forward to seeing you progress and get your life back on track.
Ha, it was an old computer (essentially my porn computer). My other computer is used for work purposes. I needed that separation in my life. Now that I have left my "porn computer" behind, I hope to be able to separate porn from my life.
Hello!. If you feel bad about your habits, or feel disappointed by yourself, you are on the right place. We all are alike, and this Site will help you to control the impulse, to "keep the beast leashed".
