I have a girlfriend and I still am tempted regularly and relapse often.

I have found that when i have a girlfriend I have no interest in porn. Somehow it's like a light switch that I can turn off porn whenever in a relationship. I think it would feel disrespectful to her if i watched porn while in a relationship.

A few things I would try are the following:
1. Make a list of the things you love about your girlfriend. Make a list of the things you love about porn. I'm guessing the list of things you love about you girlfriend will be a lot longer. When you have the urge to watch porn look at the list. I would even write it on paper so when you have the urge you can look at the list without using any kind of screen (computer, tablet, or phone).
2. If you have the urge do something that gets you away from screens. Go for a walk, read a book, clean the house, just do something that gets you away from screens for 5-10 minutes. I have found that when i do this the urge passes.
3. If you're alone when you have the urge, talk to yourself out loud. Tell yourself you are better then porn. Tell yourself you won't disrespect your girlfriend. Reinforce positive things in your life. When I do this I may also take negative things and make it sound positive. Instead of saying things like "I will not watch porn" or "I hate myself when I watch porn" I will rephrase it to say "I will successfully avoid porn" or "I like myself a lot better when i do not watch porn." Just that little change in phrasing can make me feel more positive about things.

 

Find a new hobby or learn a new skill or a new language.

 

Brother, as addicts we have a serious inner problem that we should take quite serious. Having a girlfriend will not make your neuroplastic brainchanges go away. I myself did deny that in my early reboot too. I had at this time a very beautiful girlfriend and a quite good sex life, however I just could not stop watching porn and sometimes even my dick would not work while sleeping with her because I was escalating on my addiction prior. You can imagine how stupid I must have felt at that time, but by now I can just laugh about it.

Going on with my reboot I realized that my pornography addiction was not a substitute that would disapear when having acces to real sex. My addiction was a problem on its own, even deeper than just on a sexual level.

If you have a girlfriend you are insofar correct that this involves her in some way as much as you. This is the reason why porn addiction can even be more challenging while having a girlfriend with the responsibility involved. Potentionally however she can be a great help for you overcoming your addiction too, as social support is crucial, especially with those with whom we are intimate. Hiding the full extend of your addiction from her will only load you with more pressure and shame.

I would advise to you to tell her sincerly your personal perspective on how you suffer from your addiction. The shame, the guilt and the loss of controll over your actions. Maybe she yet doesent really understand how serious it is and still thinks its normal that boys watch porn. After that tell her you wish that she is a part of your recovery and that you want to quit, because you want to be a better man for yourself and for her. From your text it seems to me your main problem is feeling misunderstood by her and the only thing that will help will be better communication.

I wish you all the best. You can also text me privately if you have any further question. Greetings from Germany.