I hate myself

I was drinking a few beers and I got to thinking about why women don't like me. I look at my body... I am not well built. I am not too much into pop culture. I am not happy all the time. I have social anxiety.
So.... In a nut shell girls don't like me.

I have been trying hard to socialize and fit in, and I have gotten a better social life... girls still dont like me.


I get it... in theirs eyes I don't deserve happiness. Or they just don't give a fuck.

 

Hey dude,

This is literally my first post on this sight.

First of all... "Clean your room and sort yourself out!" - Dr. Jordan Peterson

Dude everyone goes through tough patches, some longer than other. But you are the gatekeeper of your own destiny.

You said you do not give a fuck, I say Good! that's your start to self improvement. forget about girls. focus on yourself.
Stop masturbating and get some exercise. Start slow.

I was in a relationship with a girl for 2 years and I thought I was going to marry her and have the dream life, but then life happened. we broke up, I moved to a new city and I barely had friends. most of my friends are in serious relationships or married. and do not go out anymore. I was super unfit and weak. literally 20 days ago I started jogging. I went from 2km in 40mins to now being able to doe 3km in 20 mins. I joined the gym. met a gym bro to train with and started meeting new people and woman. Honestly I am not into random hooking up and believe that sex is for love (I'm old school like that), so I am not looking at dating or anything right now. just focusing on making myself better and returning to the Alpha I was 2 years ago before I was with my ex.

So anyway, just focus on yourself, if you cant find a passion or a cool hobby well then I promise you that exercising is the first step. there after you can start looking at doing new things and meeting new people.
I know this might sound like something you so not want to hear but my dad and my best friend said this to me "Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, I is not going to help you and it will just keep you inside the hole you are now"

I dont think I am good at pep talking, I suggest you watch
Charisma on Command
I received some great tips from these guys.

Lastly, try to cut down on the beers, drink light.

This is hard cause I am a beer enthusiast. I love craft beer but yeah, all in moderation.

Goodluck bro!

 

Thanks for your reply. All sound advice. The only complication is that I don't have time to go to the gym. I work on weekends and I I go to school every day during the week. So I am very busy and I don't have time to go to the gym. But I would go if I had time. I did start jogging over summer break, but now school dominates my time. So I am not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Also I am not just chasing women. I have already firgured out that women don't like men who are desperate for men. I find that to be weird... but thats how women are.

 

Cut down on beers? I only drink once or twice a week. Thats not a problem. And I am not usually a sad drunk. Its just things that ar going through my head.

 

And one more question.... I have not been chasing women or asking for sex. I nailed that. My dating life sucks. Nothing is happening. And here i am with two months of hardmode and blue balls. If women were oxygen I would be suffocating and the women would be the sociopath taking away my oxygen.

And its all because "I don't like a guy that is in the market for girls.... duh...duh...duhhhh..."

 

If its one thing I learned in these three years of constant lonliness, struggle, and being on NoFap is that women suck.

 

I don't mean to come off like I am rejecting your guys' advice. I have been doing everything you guys said. Its just that things still aren't working out. I am following the NoFap hardmode "guidebook" top to bottom. And I am working hard everyday at improving my life. Its just that one, I am tired of being alone (I am not taking just about dating, also I need more friends and a better family) and two I am very frusterated with my life. I am doing everything I am supposed to do, and things are just taking their FUCKING time. I feel like the only thing keeping me up is my own sheer will... no who is in my life gives a fuck. I have to be the strong one because if I have ONE moment weakness my OWN FUCKING MOTHER doesn't care. Every day is a battle and its always ME... AND ME ALONE facing my problems. So ladies... EXCUUUUSE ME! for wanting someone to give a FLYING FUCK! For having someone at least listen to my problems and for me to feel like someone loves me. Its been years since I last felt loved. I feel like I am on a death march through a desert. Thats the end of my rant. Sorry for the negativity, but it has to be vented in some way.

 

Practical advice... i will look into that. I did over the summer go from 15 push ups to 30.

 

Thank you for the advice.

I am currently enrolled at a great music conservatory. I am surrounded by people with similar interests. I am grateful for that. I am not entirely miserable and I really am trying to be happy.

As for the girls I remain hopeful, but right now I am only looking for friends.

As for the haters in my life... best advice I ever received.

Thanks.

 

I was just reading a chapter of a book a few nights ago that was about believing lies and allowing them to sink into your mind and rip you apart. And then literally last night, I was feeling similarly to you... hating on myself for a variety of reasons. But you are who you are, and you are loved, just as you are. I don't want to push spirituality or religion in here, so I won't, but I hope you come to the realization that you are loved and come to a place of being able to accept yourself. And if you want to change things about yourself, that's fine too. But do it because you want to improve something that's already whole and beautiful, not because you're trying to fix something you view as broken.

 

Beautiful post. Mahler should set to music.

 

All of what you wrote is completely and utter bullshit and was only done to further exacerbate the real issue which, oddly enough, is listed at the very top of this shit mountain I HATE MYSELF.

And not only do you hate yourself, you do so to the point of making up your own reality where you forcibly impose your own insecurities is if they are other people's views toward you. In short you don't even allow others to make up their own opinion about you, you do that for them, which is like a form of mental rape.

I would suggest you make the time to go see a therapist or someone who can help you build up the tools to unfuck your mind. I don't know what caused you to hate yourself, but it's important that you stop this behavior.