I HATE myself and I don't like to meet girls anymore

Maybe you are meeting people in places you don't really like? Or maybe your goals and wants are different from your friends? This is going to take some introspection and self discovery on your part. Find out what you want and why and go do stuff you like to do where you can show and project your talent/skills. With that you get to meet cool people who fits your personality and from there maybe you get to meet a girl who is compatible with you or a couple of women.

 

It's not rare. There are surely many people who experience the same feelings as you are having.

Thing is, you don't /have/ to be with anyone if you don't feel like it. Being single is cool, it provides a lot of freedom to explore and develop yourself. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better either, I really mean it. If you find yourself doing damage in relationships (is this REALLY true, or are you judging yourself too harshly?), then abstaining from them might be a wise move for you to figure out your priorities. Right?

Maybe try and make some new friends? Talking only about girls and booze sounds pretty dull to me.

 

Here's my first rule about handling self-defeating thoughts - Never listen to those voices that tell you something is forever, inevitable, or unchangeable. Some examples...

"Now I cant mantain a gf because i will fuck it up no matter what"

"I feel like if I talk with them I will hurt them, so its better avoid all type of contact and be alone forever."

You see my point?

I stand by the fact that you're being way too hard on yourself. Show yourself a little compassion, you know? Why do you hate yourself? Are you the only person who's fucked up a relationship or several? God, no. What would you say to someone else who was in your position? Would you hate /them/?

Hell, for most people, only one relationship in their lives is EVER going to work.

Is PMO really the problem here? Maybe it's your whole perspective on things? PMO isn't responsible for you attacking yourself so much.

 

How are women or your previous girlfriends being emotionally hurt by you?

What are the "excuses" you are referring to?

 

I can empathise with your situation amorati, I've avoided any intimacy with girls for years due to messing up numerous relationships because of my own self conscious problems. Girls would fall in love quickly and then I would become distant and uneasy until it ended.
Im on day 31 nofap and I'm remaining open minded about the future, in terms of relationships, I don't know what's going to happen but I think it's better not to live in the past, for that's not what makes you.
It's early days for both you and I but better to be optimistic and don't dwell on the negative.
Your doing a good thing on nofap

 

@GSarosi

Simply golden!

@Amorati

It sounds all to familiar...

Look, you can always look at the glass as half empty.

Consider the following:

1. I mean, if you know, what you are doing wrong, then you can simply avoid it.

I mean, even bad experience is experience, right? Sometimes, people need to fine tune. I mean, nobody was born with all the social intelligence we need...

2. If you don't feel anything, then give the future relationship a time.

Simply avoid sex for couple of months and the chemistry will be completely different.

3. Avoid the "we gonna bang some chicks tonite" attitude with the guys.

I almost quit drinking when going out. I mean, if you want to find a girlfriend material, it should be at your the best, when she meets you.

Also consider other places/ options to meet people. I know simply said.

You can either try a different circle of friends or you could try cold openings. (it takes guts thought...)

On the other hand, if you want to be successful in the long term, you will need to step up from your comfort zone...

Good Luck!

 

I know what you mean : I see some of my male coworkers lusting about or seeking pictures of hot girls, whereas I am close to disgusted with the idea of watching pixels on the screen. The worst part is that I craving the "crave of seeking a girlfriend". Quite ironic, isn't it? When you no longer want to give it a shot or talk to this good-looking coworker, but I can only say, this too shall pass.

I can't say I am trusting myself to heal from the disinterest sometime soon, but I am hopeful that my self development will bear results someday for me, and for anyone else feeling like there is no use in meeting new people.