I fell hard tonight.

Shame, while an understandable feeling, is a destructive trap. You participated in unwanted sexual behavior and recognize it is a problem and want to move away from it. The good news is you can. PMO does not define who you are and you can overcome this. Not sugar-coating it to say that it will be easy, but it can be done, and you and your relationships are so worth it. Forget the shame - it just holds you in place. Instead use the guilt as motivation for change. Sex is a beautiful thing and a sex drive is important. It just can't be corrupted to self-soothe or take you away from what is really upsetting you and driving this. My heart aches reading your post, but please don't see this as hopeless. There is hope and we all have faith in you and want to be supportive.

 

You're welcome. And I see 1 Day in your tracker. Congrats! You're starting on a pathway to integrity and being the man you want to be and know you can be.

 

Therein lies your problem. You hate the greatest, most powerful force in human nature. Sex drive has powered people to find cures for cancer, create unbelievable technologies and improve the lives of billions around the world.

You just need to learn how to control yours. Once you do that you'll be unstoppable.

 

As a porn watcher for over 25-30 years who tried to quit many times and had many relapses, I know the feeling of shame and hate very well. It wasn't until I changed my perspective that I really have been successful with quitting porn. I encourage you to look at the flip side and find the positives and reinforce them. For example if you went 5 days without PMO, focus on that. Tell yourself you were strong for 5 days and can do it again. Or if in the past when you relapsed you would binge porn for hours or PMO multiple times, but this time only did it the one time, tell yourself, "okay I relapsed but it's just going to be that one time and I am not going to binge watch porn for hours." Another thing I would encourage you to do is set small obtainable goals. Instead of saying I am going to do 90 days PMO free, set a goal to do 2 days. And then after 2 day, set a goal for 3 days. Smaller obtainable goals will seem more achievable and then when you stack them up together it'll become a long streak.