NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

I Feel So Stupid

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by James Matterling II, Nov 29, 2017.

Tags:
  1. Nov 29, 2017 #1
    James Matterling II

    James Matterling II Fapstronaut

    46
    17
    8
    I worked up the courage to ask this girl I work with out to the movies yesterday. I put a nice sweater on and I told myself that knew it was a date. When she showed up she was wearing sweats and was high and possibly drunk. I think she was trying to send the message that it was not a date. On top of everything we've hooked up before and talked about our various addiction issues. She seems to be a vicious alcoholic and has expressed wanting to stop but doesn't seem to actually want to.

    She ended up needing to go out to a bar. The whole time I just felt small. I felt this sense that she felt bad for me. She pitied me. Like I was just this naiive little boy. I hated that.

    I feel stupid and embarrassed. I knew this was going to happen. And I still asked her out anyway. It really hurt to see her fucked up like that. I was hoping she could go one night without getting fucked up. I also don't know why I am attracted to people like this. I knew this was going to happen- and I still did it anyway. I feel SO STUPID
     
    James Matterling II, Nov 29, 2017
    James Matterling II, Nov 29, 2017
    #1
  2. Nov 29, 2017 #2
    CowardlyLion

    CowardlyLion Fapstronaut

    334
    374
    63
    My Journal
    Don't feel stupid. This was a poor situation that you couldn't exactly predict. People are complicated. She has a problem, and you knew this. She didn't pity you. You tried your best. Keep a handle on your life, stay strong, and keep moving. You are the master of your own destiny. Don't beat yourself up though. She is struggling too.
     
    CowardlyLion, Nov 29, 2017
    CowardlyLion, Nov 29, 2017
    #2
    Hitto and Power_to_Change like this.
  3. Nov 29, 2017 #3
    Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    1,522
    1,750
    143
    You can do better than go for drunk chics.
     
    Runtilmylegsdropoff, Nov 29, 2017
    Runtilmylegsdropoff, Nov 29, 2017
    #3
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Nov 29, 2017 #4
    CowardlyLion

    CowardlyLion Fapstronaut

    334
    374
    63
    My Journal
    This isn't about going for "drunk chicks". James is aware of these issues and that he is attracted to the type of people who struggle with addiction.

    The thing to remember is that this situation is incredibly complicated.
     
    CowardlyLion, Nov 29, 2017
    CowardlyLion, Nov 29, 2017
    #4
    James Matterling II likes this.
  5. Nov 29, 2017 #5
    GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    2,007
    3,391
    143
    We have all been on crappy dates. We have thought people were interested in dating when they were not, we have done dumb stuff in dating picked the wrong people. Don’t beat yourself up. This is part of life and learning. Pick yourself up and go find a girl who does want to date you and who deserves you.
     
    GG2002, Nov 29, 2017
    GG2002, Nov 29, 2017
    #5
    Hitto and SlowHand like this.
  6. Nov 29, 2017 #6
    messanger

    messanger Fapstronaut

    72
    71
    18
    How will this experience be beneficial to your long term goal?
    I think the journey is about peak and valleys and I would only be worried if 7/10 dates are dates like this.
     
    messanger, Nov 29, 2017
    messanger, Nov 29, 2017
    #6
    Hitto likes this.
  7. Dec 1, 2017 #7
    The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    697
    673
    93
    The Wrestler, Dec 1, 2017
    The Wrestler, Dec 1, 2017
    #7
  8. Dec 4, 2017 #8
    James Matterling II

    James Matterling II Fapstronaut

    46
    17
    8
    The worst part is she did pity me. She was acting so sorry for me. It fucking killed me
     
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    #8
  9. Dec 4, 2017 #9
    James Matterling II

    James Matterling II Fapstronaut

    46
    17
    8
    I appreciate that
     
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    #9
  10. Dec 4, 2017 #10
    James Matterling II

    James Matterling II Fapstronaut

    46
    17
    8
    I didn't really realize it but this is the first time gone on a date in a couple years and my first actual swing at an actual date. I think their is a difference than just phoning it in in a relationship and actually putting yourself on the line. In terms of stepping up to the plate and actually swinging, I haven't done much, if any in my life. It's terrified to go on a date and not to attempt to be something I'm not. It's completely foreign to me and this situation kinda crushed me. What now? How do I meet girls. Also I am experiencing a pretty deep flatline. Does the fact that I do not have much sexual energy and desire to go out with girls make sense in this situation, or am I just scared?
     
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    #10
  11. Dec 4, 2017 #11
    James Matterling II

    James Matterling II Fapstronaut

    46
    17
    8
    When I actually thought about it and talked about it, I think she did it out of spite for not taking her out/ or fucking her earlier. It was just embarrassing- like in truth that someone like me could think I have a girl that was that good looking. I don't have a lot of self worth and I think I took it personally. Like I wasn't good enough for her.
     
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    James Matterling II, Dec 4, 2017
    #11
    Hitto likes this.
  12. Dec 5, 2017 #12
    Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    673
    811
    93
    She only felt sorry for you because you are reflecting to her that you don't have a high self esteem what's others think about you is inconsequential most of the time but some instances people will treat you how you treat yourself but this is a learning experience bro learn from it an move on and live in the moment be grateful and enjoy the journey don't be so concerned about your results and take action and you will be surprised good luck
     
    Hitto, Dec 5, 2017
    Hitto, Dec 5, 2017
    #12
  13. Dec 5, 2017 #13
    Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    673
    811
    93
    See you learned from the interaction now you have something to work on and you will consciously not make the same mistake again I use to use people and things to give me self esteem but I'm slowly learning that is dangerous and all my self worth comes from myself not others
     
    Hitto, Dec 5, 2017
    Hitto, Dec 5, 2017
    #13
  14. Dec 31, 2017 #14
    The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    697
    673
    93
    Damn, this was a thread I wish I had not forgotten about! Not sure how I missed the quote, normally I get a notification...
    Unless you're in Aus, this is the dark season too, and that can also have a significant effect on our general feelings and self-worth.
    How have things been recently?
    What do you make of the situation now that you've had some time/distance between you and it?
     
    The Wrestler, Dec 31, 2017
    The Wrestler, Dec 31, 2017
    #14
  15. Jan 1, 2018 #15
    lamstronger

    lamstronger Fapstronaut

    448
    766
    93
    My Journal
    I don't know if you should feel stupid for giving a person a chance. That's how we grow. Next time things will go differently.
     
    lamstronger, Jan 1, 2018
    lamstronger, Jan 1, 2018
    #15

Share This Page