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I feel sad and depressed.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Black_Knight 1998, Nov 4, 2023.

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  1. Nov 4, 2023 #1
    Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    today is the 19 day of no porn and 15 of no masturbation. I had morning wood today it was weak and didn't last even few minutes.
    when i started this streak i had no erection at all.
    but today my mind told me it may because i have a nerve penile damage ,so when i went to shower i tested my self many times by moving my fingertip on the penile shaft to know will i have sensation or not , i had sensation (i don't know is it weak or normal sensation) and i felt i may develop erection(the so weak one) ,so i stopped. i didn't have any sexual enjoyment or any sexual thought all i was concerned about will my peins be responsive to my touch? or do i have penile nerve damage?

    after getting out of the bathroom i feel so depressed because what I did might be a relapse, i know it's not but i can't control this idea and the idea i have penile nerve damage although i'm not sure do i have its symptoms or it's just the flatline-dead dick.
    in addition the OCD is killing me i hardly stopped my self-test because the idea it's not enough to be sure of your sensitivity.
     
    Black_Knight 1998, Nov 4, 2023
    Black_Knight 1998, Nov 4, 2023
    #1
    fusion47 likes this.
  2. Nov 4, 2023 #2
    TheRaven8386

    TheRaven8386 Fapstronaut

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    Ohhh Bles your heart. This and OCD is a VERY shitty combination, because I have it too. First, the bad news. Your depression may very well get worse before it gets better. I've had days where all I could do was break out and cry all day long. It's just the effect on your brain. The good news. I highly doubt you have nerve damage. It's the damage to the reward center of your brain causing little sensation down there. It takes time to heal. It's just something that takes time and you have to push through. No, that would not count as a relapse. You weren't really masturbating and you did not orgasm, so you're still good. My advice, do not go through this alone. If you have loved ones or good friends who you can open up to and get support from by all means do it.
     
    TheRaven8386, Nov 4, 2023
    TheRaven8386, Nov 4, 2023
    #2
    Black_Knight 1998, Freeddom_Taker, gordonfreeman14603 and 1 other person like this.

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