I fear this won't be easy....

So this is all new and quite scary for me but I feel that this is my only chance of beating this addiction which has literally stripped me of my life as I know it. I don't want to bore total strangers so I will try and keep my introduction as short as possible.... Im a 35 year old straight male who learnt how to fap at about the age of 5... (yes that is 5). I started by fapping in the prone position (face down for those who don't know) and this is where my problem started. I developed a very early fetish for womens shoes, god only knows how. Ive never been much attracted to a womens lower half although I do like a nice pair of breasts and a firm bum!! As time went on and I got older I developed another fetish for light bondage (damsels in distress in tv programmes) and would fap over that still in the prone position. I believe these fetishes and fapping in the prone position is the catalyst for the car crash that has now become my life. After a couple of short relationships at the age of 18 I met my soulmate. We were together for 15 years, sexually the relationship wasn't great. I suffer from anxiety and depression something I kept from my better half. During that time the age of the internet was upon us and the fapping over my fetishes got out of control athough by now I was fapping normally. The shoe fetish died down a lot but the bondage one remained although never got stronger. My relationship suffered massively, as did my life in general. Im lazy (to a point), I seriously lack motivation, i'm unhealthy as in I smoke and drink with little exercise. I dont do drugs although I have dabbled in the past. My life just ticked along with my GF never knowing the real me. I was ashamed & embarrassed of my fetish, I still am. She finally left me last year and along with my home I lost everything I ever worked for or cared about. To this day my addiction is ruining my life, stopping me from being the man I know I can be but discovering NOFAP may just save my life. I have been encouraged by other peoples stories and I think/hope that I can use others stories and support to help me through what I believe is going to be the hardest battle I will EVER face.

I never thought I would tell anyone this so I feel this is already a positive step and a massive one for me. I really hope we can all beat this one day and I would like to offer my support to all of you each going through your own personal struggles.

I would really welcome anyones thoughts on my weird and disastrous life and your support even more.

Introduction not as short as I hoped...

 

Thanks for the reply, Nice to meet you too Pal. Best of luck

 

Nice to meet you @MightyKC, thanks for the support & your reply. Ive taken in what you said and am gonna try & use this to help me. Im very serious about rebooting. Im sceptical about whether or not this can work and what benefits I will see? My confidence is at an all time low where the women are concerned which is quite unlike me. Ive seen so many posts from people with positive outcomes I just hope I can be one of those. Its been 1 day for me now, and Im just trying to take it one step at a time. If I can be of any support to you just say. Allot of people lean on me and Id like to think I may be able to offer my support if ever you need it.