Im writing this in a bed, its like 3AM... Im writing this cause im loosing hope, i cant get out of 7 week cycle, i tried millions of things and every one of them dissapointed me... Maybe im a dissapoinment?... I cant get back on wagon whole damn 7 months... Im 16 "my hormones are crazy" well i dont give a shit, this is just unnacaptable! Im a total dissapointment, everyone could do this better than me... Every time i try its bigger dissapointment, every time less hope... Today i relapsed 2 times and i hate it 2 days befor i did the same and day before that i relapsed 4 times... How can i reach my goals if im a total looser? How i stop being such a failure? Im trying to work towards my goals but everything seems impossible to me now... I dont believe myself even a bit. I want to get out if this situation... i just dont know how. Why every month must suck more than last month? I cant sleep right now, im too frustrated and deppressed to do so. I see no light right now, nothing.. I have no one to talk to, i have no room to cry in cause im living in one room with my family... This is unbearable
Any idea why you wrote these lines right now? Because there is a sincere longing inside of you to become truly happy. Of course in your age there are huge amounts of hormones produced in your body. And of course as humans we are sometimes strong and sometimes weak. Accept yourself as the wonderful person you are. Time will come and getting rid of addiction will be much easier. Relax and be proud of all the efforts you have already done. All is well.
@dorcolac , Step one: Don't just do something - sit there. Really, it's time to take no actions and make no important decisions. I'm not a medical professional. So, take what I'm saying as only coming from a person who's been where you are. I've felt exactly like you are feeling now. For me it was a panic attack. For you it might be something else. For me, feeling overwhelmed was a sign of depression as well. I dealt with it by trying to project to the world an image of myself that was perfect. The right clothes, the right credit cards, flying first class, the right job .... and you get the point. If I looked perfect, then I was. But, I wasn't --- inside I was a mess, completely sure that I was a failure. Overwhelmed at the thought of doing even the slightest thing right. How have a dealt with it? Well, sometimes better than others I deal with it. First, I had to admit that the things I was trying to improve about myself were things I was powerless over. So, drinking. I tried thousands of times to make "this my last time" I'd drink. But, thousands of times it wasn't. Why? Because I tried to use willpower, my inner strength, just plain being stubborn. It never worked. Willpower was no use to me at all. When I admitted I was powerless over drinking, that if I had the first drink, then I wanted to have all I could. The same is true for me with NoFap. I can't do this program by trying to tell myself I'm going to use my willpower, my inner strength. I have to admit I'm powerless over pmo. I just have to avoid the first porn image or video, not all of them. Once I've seen the first image, all the others are not enough. I want to see the whole Internet full of them. It's like pretending I can jump into the deep end of the pool and get just my toes wet. I know that once I jump, I'm going to get soaked from head to toe. So, I don't use willpower, I admit I'm powerless over this addiction to pmo. Please @dorcolac know that NoFap can help you. It is helping me so much. But, know that it's perfectly fine to seek other kinds of help also. Talk to a counselor, a spiritual adviser, a friend, a doctor, a parent. Everyone finds help in different places. But, there is no shame in asking for help. In fact, it's the best part of admitting that I'm powerless over my addictions. I get help from many different quarters. Please know you are not alone and that you have many friends on here to help you. L
