I don't know what my issue is.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Tokenator27, Jul 1, 2018.

  1. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to preface my story by saying today I tried for over an hour to fantasize about sex with my girlfriend, and then when that didn't work watched regular porn, when that didn't work went to my go-to (incest, even though I have no female siblings) and 5 minutes later bingo bang boom was cleaning up.

    I haven't dated in 4 years and haven't had sex in 3, meanwhile regularly watching porn and masturbating, normal stuff at first but now incest, I think just for the taboo aspect. I started dating a woman with a healthy sexual appetite and at the beginning of all our encounters I am ready to go, full bore. 5-10 minutes in I start to lose blood flow and then shortly after its completely limp, loss of sensation, the whole 9 yards.

    Last week I masturbated and barely had any orgasmic sensation when I finished, so little sensation that when I came it just kind of dribbled out like a weak per stream.

    This whole thing is on a level of confusion I can't wrap my head around, and there is a major fear aspect because with how long its been since I've dated, and how often and how much my girlfriend wants to have sex (completely fine with her frequency preference), I just feel like she's gonna split and find something more stable and less basket-case than me.
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  2. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    That's PIED(porn induced erectile dysfunction), you spent a long while masturbating without a woman around and now that a woman is around you cannot perform. You need to stop masturbating(especially with the death grip) and stop all porn immediately. You're already messing around with fetish oriented material(many guys with PIED can't perform unless that fetish is present). I would also encourage you to go get blood work done, a full hormonal panel. Low semen volume/erection quality could mean low testosterone in which case you should be put on replacement therapy. I've also used things like Cialus and Levetra which can help keep you rock hard for longer periods of time.
     
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  3. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Try doing kegels and reverse kegels it can help strengthen your pelvic floor. Also makes erections harder and if you practice enough you can last longer in bed. As for PIED, lay off the P.
     
    ak47_uk likes this.
  4. EricKungFooled

    EricKungFooled Fapstronaut

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    This is all symptoms of porn escalation and probably death-grip. Finishing to more taboo porn is a clear sign that your brain needs more shock value to reward the dopamine it craves.
    As my porn use escalated, I couldn't stand regular porn and got into more and more stranger fetishes. Then those got boring and the cycle continued. It is a vicious cycle where your brain becomes desensitized to streamlined porn.

    The loss of blood flow during sex means your brain is now wired for porn and desires it more than sex. I had the same issue where I would be aroused (full hard) with a kiss but around the 5 minute mark I lost all steam.
     
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  5. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Exactly right, I had the same issue as well. "Death grip" masturbation + Porn = Erectile dysfunction.
     
  6. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    Are you guys far enough into this whole,nofap thing that you're seeing positive results from it in this regard?
     
  7. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    I've relapsed recently like a fool but yes, it does make you feel much better. Semen volume increases, sensitivity comes back, stronger erections, etc. and for me it cures a lot of my depression and rage.
     
  8. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    I never thought about something like low-T. I am in excellent physical shape so it never crossed my mind.
     
  9. Benjiboy34

    Benjiboy34 Fapstronaut

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    Toke, Whatever you do, you have to reboot long term. You are already looking for the “taboo” shock factor in your porn addiction, that is a dangerous path, as where will it lead to? Totally agree with Claude, lose the porn. It will have many positive effects, mentally and physically. I am lucky enough to be married to a supportive wife whom is helping me recover from my dopamine / porn addiction. I can guarantee the sensitivity comes back pretty quickly. Even after a pretty long 25 year PMO career. And mentally I seem to be getting stronger day by day. Though still early days for me and still a struggle to avoid triggers, but I am committed. This site is my homepage, so as to remind me should I open my browser with any other intent. Good luck sir.
     
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  10. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    So day 2. I'm writing myself a daily planner kind of schedule. Starting with a 9pm-5am sleep schedule. Coffee and workout, healthy breakfast, American Idol audition in the shower, something I can consistently maintain. Went to winco and bought a bunch of items to eat healthier. I can do this.
     
    ClaudeDuval likes this.
  11. EricKungFooled

    EricKungFooled Fapstronaut

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    I'm on day 16 and have definitely been seeing some positive results. The last time I reached 15 days I foolishly thought I could masturbate without porn which caused a relapse shortly after. The crazy thing was that for the first time in years I could actually masturbate while fantasizing about real women. This is something that was impossible before as I needed very graphic and taboo material before.

    I relapsed shortly after with PMO and the longest I streak I had was a day or two. It took a lot of energy and focus to get back to my streak.

    During my relapses I felt low on energy and my depression and negative thoughts started coming back. At the gym I could barely do 70% of my normal weights and ended up leaving half way through at times.

    I believe the benefits are definitely real which gets me even more motivated to hit my 90 day goal.
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  12. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    Just got a new job today, hard not to feel like every step I'm taking right now is in the right direction. Obviously self esteem comes and goes in waves, but I'm definitely riding a wave today.
     
  13. EricKungFooled

    EricKungFooled Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome keep it up.
     
  14. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    The only postive result I have is quiting this addiction. Well, theres more to it like no more guilt after masturbating and the depression it put me in after PMO. I replaced my addiction with exercising and I cant lie I feel like a million dollars. Quiting PMO is the one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I spend more time with family. I can now (still working on it) have meaning full conversations with women without objectifying them. Its changed alot of my bad perspectives of mind I had while I was in the addiction. Its definitely worth it to remain sober.
     

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