I don't know how to title this

Hi @Govinda
Welcome to NoFap.
Your story sound VERY familiar.
Three months ago i did not even know I was a porn addict, actually i did not know that that was an addiction neither.
I learned when I found by chance the TedTalks Glasgow video by Gary Wilson. I could not believe, he was describing everything I was experiencing by then.

It will be a tough process, and you will experience several withdrawal symptoms the first 4-5 weeks (personally I had terrible ball ache and I was super depressed, crying out of the blue or shouting people in some business meeting).
The good thing is that it is worth it. You will start seeing positive changes soon.

Some tips that worked for me:
1. Install K-9 in your computer, so when you feel tempted to browse porn, this software blocks it. If you feel that you will "cheat" yourself, ask somebody to put some random password and throw it to the trash;
2. The way I fight my sudden urges is reading my "emergency tool" package, which I have saved in my cellphone in Notes, so I always have it handy.
I wrote there some texts describing how down I was feeling when I started the NoFap journey, and some sentences I extracted from other posts
I can share them with you if you like, they are very powerful.
Otherwise you can write your own things , things that touch your heart when you are immerse in an urge.
I read from another Fapstronauts that he make a video of him fapping while watching PMO, and it was so depressing and pathetic that helped him to avoid relapsing
3. Watch a lot of videos about this addiction and why you will be better if you quit.
Here is a link to a previous post where I put every video that I found helpful

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

4. Come to this site every day, read some blogs, post something if you feel like it. Help some newbies. All this is very healing, and staying connected helps a lot.
5. Keep yourself very busy, create an agenda that does not allow you to have time to watch porn. Stay away from the places that "reminds you" to PMO or some related action (in my case, I used to visit paid escorts, so I stay away from these places.
6. Delete from your computer every video or picture that you have. It is painful but a big commitment (I was saving porn videos for 11 years, so it was super difficult for me to do it. Make sure you delete them from your Trash Bin so you cannot recover them.
7. If you are old school, perhaps you also have DVD's or porn magazines. Throw them away too.
8. Unsubscribe from every porn site or softcore e-mail subscription that can keep sending you stuff that can tempt you to relapse (very painful, specially if you have paid for it, like I did)
9. Delete and block all the contacts from your cell that can trigger PMO. In my case, I had like 11 contacts of escorts saved, that I blocked and deleted.
10. In the instant that you get an urge, stop yourself from the excitement for 30 second, and try to think what is really triggering it. In my case, i always discover some unpleasant situation that happened a few hours ago, that make me a bit depressed or sad, and triggers a desire to PMO. Once you realize what is the trigger, the urge trend to disappear.

I hope some of these tips help you.
Keep fighting, it is worth it
Fercho

 

Sure, man
Here it goes. Feel free to use everything that you need, save it in a handy place that you can reach if you have an urge


These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:

To figure out if something is good for you you have to ask a simple question : where does it leads you? And where does it leave you?

• For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

The NF journey


Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.
• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.
• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.
• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.
• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.
• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.
• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.
• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.
• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-
• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best.

Fercho

 

Pornathons suck, I've had a few before and afterwards I always feel like I wasted my life doing nothing but stare at a screen and fap. And I usually end up with a porn hangover... But it'll get better!

 

That's exactly how I felt before I found nofap. But then when I clicked on the link I was so happy, l actually kind of wanted to cry knowing that I was not alone.

 

It is a pleasure @Govinda
You are not the only one that had that experience.
I was feeling like shit, super depressed and did not have a clue about why. I always thought that fapping is what "we all guys do"
I crashed by chance to Gary Wilson's Ted Talks Glasgow, and when the guy started describing porn addiction I almost froze from shock, and I thought to myself:"Holy shit, he is describing ME".
I never thought myself like and ADDICT, I was so in shock that I acted immediately, started browsing until I got to NoFap, started deleting all the porn in my computer, and I started rebooting right then.
I am glad it helped. Today is my 90th Day clean, so i am happy like a kid with his new toy
Keep fighting
Fercho

 

Great you've joined NoFap @Kylethefapstronaut
Welcome to the site, and wish you the best
Keep fighting
Fercho

 

Thank you @Govinda!
If I could do it, you can do it too. Do not let the addict part of your brain trick you down.
Good luck in your fight
Fercho