I’ve been thinking about how I would describe my porn habit. It’s been 17 days since my last relapse (which is my longest streak yet!), but am I someone who does not watch porn, or am I someone who just hasn’t watched porn for the last 17 days? How long do I need to be clean before I feel like I could describe myself as someone who doesn’t watch porn? I think 30 day will be a big stepping stone, but I’m not sure even then it’d be an accurate description. What do you guys think?
Yea I’d say 90 days. I’ve made it 48 days before,but once I relapsed it was right back to square one.
At least 90 days. Then you can say with some certainty, though not as an absolute, that you don't look at porn.
One way to look at it like an alcoholic. Your always a porn addict but in recovery I’m porn free since 2009 but could fall right back on it some days
This is opinion-based. My personal opinion would be that if you happen to see something pornographic (or a potential trigger such as nakedness in a movie), you don't react to it all. Then I'd say that you are someone who doesn't watch porn. As I say, that's just an opinion, not a statement of fact.
I quit smoking 6 years ago. Suppose I smoke a cigarette today. Can I then say that I have not smoked for 6 years? No! It is a relapse and I have to reset the daily counter from 2190 to 0 days! You could describe yourself as someone who doesn’t watch porn, if you don't watch porn. It's that simple. Porn is poison, like cigarettes. Better not start again ...
But if you didn't smoke for six years and smoke one today than you aren't addicted (yet). Only if you fall back into doing it regularly
I have stopped smoking once before. After three years, I smoked one cigarette and I was addicted again. Hopefully I will never do that again! The second time smoking was worst and more devastating than before and a few times harder to stop! I warn everyone: After you try to play with your addiction, the addiction will play with you. Don't feed the beast!
I would say you become a person who doesn't watch pornography if you do not look for it and if you catch a glimpse of it you would look away knowing that you shouldn't do it.
Why be a person who doesn't watch porn? Just stop being a person who does watch porn. There is no need to take on an identity based on what you don't do.
You can say it at any point. It's a positive affirmation. The point is to get your self-concept into the state of not being a porn user, regardless of how many days you haven't been a porn user. You can say it on day 1 or day 0 for that matter. The point is that you're aligning your self-image with the goal, so you're not just someone with a goal. You're a person who does or does not do specific things, from now on.
That's the difference between a reset and a relapse, as documented on this site. One mistake makes a reset. Falling back into the addiction makes a relapse.
I think you can start describing yourself like that from day one. Like Tony Robbins says: change does not need time to happen, it happens in an instant. It happens when you make a decision in a moment. From that moment on you are different person. So if you decide now that you are a type of person that does not watch porn you become it instantly. And if you believe that you will act accordingly.