I cant fuking breathe!!

fumaruu · May 4, 2022

I am extremely anxious all the time. I am scared of the future, scaled of being a failure, my business is taking hits, Im losing money, I feel like a piece of sht. Idk man...

Ive had this disgusting fat fetish and squashing fetish ever since I was a little kid in elementary school. My whole sexual identity is based on this fetish. I never fantasized about normal woman. All I wanted is having someone fat squash me. Doesnt matter the gender.. Now Im on nofap, I quit this fetish shit long time ago. But the thoughts, the stuff that I did, the person who Ive become now is so far from who i really am. I spent so much money on fetish stuff, joined gay websites, lost control, the devil took over me.

I am trying to get my life back together, but this fetish is so deeply wired I cant seem to get erect by anything else besides this fetish. How am I supposed to have children? How can I ever I find love? I cant breath, I can literally feel my heartbeat getting faster the more I think about this, Ive grown so many gray hairs over the years, I completely lost control. Just as I thought I broke the chains of this fetish, my past comes to haunt me in way I never thought was possible. I even developed HOCD at one point and was suicidal.

I am so scared, feels like everyones life is so stressfree, everyone is marrying their dream woman, here I am, attracted to getting squashed by fat people. How can I get rid of this BS? Am I doomed to live like this? Please I need some help I was doing good but this week its been so tough I cant fucking breathe.

fumaruu · May 4, 2022

Update: I came across a video of a skinny woman sitting on a dude on IG, and I got an erection..

I think I am extremely self conscious and overreacting. Porn probably hijacked I havent watched anything else besides the fat squaqshing porn therefore thats the only thing I know I "like". I think Its just porn escalation for me fueled by a "interest" that started during childhood. I think I am completely normal

Roffelaar · May 4, 2022

The image you have of other people being stressfree and marrying their dream woman is not true. There are so many people struggling, but not many people show it.
Everybody experiences stress at some point and especially because you are talking about instagram, you only see the good side of people's life. I quit instagram and social media because of this reason. It is a fake reality and will drag you down, because you only see people having great lifes.

You can not change your life around in a week, this takes time and you are already acknowledging your problem quite well. Accept the fact that it will take time and be grateful for the small changes you make towards the better. You need a bit of patience and self love. Self love is key. All the external shit disappears when you love yourself and are proud of who you are. Think about the things that you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for trying to get rid of your problem and be open about it here.

I got out of a despression lately and I still have days of feeling a bit down and it is mainly just self love. I am so harsh on myself for being who I am or that I acted a little awkward in a conversation and I would pity over that kind of stuff. This is destructive and when I shut down all social media and just live in the moment instead of on my phone or computer I get way more done and I feel way better and happier.

Nobody is a failure when they try. Stop telling yourself you are a failure. A business takes a lot of courage, strength and perseverance to maintain. I admire people that have their own business. Positive self talk and gratitude is amazing so switch it around and tell yourself you are a fucking legend and keep reminding yourself that you are and that these hard times will make you strong as fuck.

There is always a bright side after a dark time.

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I cant fuking breathe!!

fumaruu Fapstronaut

fumaruu Fapstronaut

Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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