I believe I can be the best version of myself.

Hey dude, sorry for the break up. That's really tough and it's cliche as F but it's true, time will heal this wound. I'm glad you have already looked deep within yourself and are determined to also heal yourself in other ways as a result of this break up. That takes a lot of self-awareness and courage and if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to reach out. You deserve to be the best version of yourself, and whoever your next partner will be will love that about you!

PS - This is going to be a contrarian opinion to some in this forum, but I don't think there's anything wrong with buying sex toys unless you are going full hard mode quitting PMO entirely. As long as you abstain from porn and have healthy fantasies (using your mind to masturbate instead of external/fake stimulation that porn provides - NEVER use any porn or thoughts of porn whatsoever to masturbate) could actually be good for yourself because it can put you more in touch with your own body and feelings. If you're interested in how to do this in a mindful way - look up "tantric meditation" and "sexual meditation" using tantric practices. It's all about how you devote energy and mindfulness to yourself - which porn often contributes to in a very harmful and negative way.

You can read more about this from WebMD, which this article is peer reviewed by an actual medical doctor: https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-meditation - and there are plenty of how-to guides on the internet.

I just want you to know that there is no shame in sex toys or masturbation. But be careful and always do everything in moderation and without the unhealthy stimulus of porn. It should always be used as a way to be more in tune with yourself versus an escape from yourself that many of us with PMO addictions do.

It's important that as we all heal, we develop a healthy relationship with sex - and sex toys are absolutely normal and fine to have and there's nothing wrong with them. In fact, sex toys are pretty important to keeping a sex life with a partner spicy over a long period of time because there's so many options and ways to keep things interesting outside of vanilla sex.

So I'm not telling you should go out and buy sex toys, just don't view them as an inherently negative thing, because they aren't. I see so many people on this forum who go too far in the deep end to the point where they're getting negative returns because even though they are quitting PMO, they are doing so without also building the foundation to a healthy sexual life, which many of us need to be fulfilled (unless you're asexual, etc.)

 

For sure! You do things at your own pace and that sounds like a great plan. If sex toys trigger you, then you should definitely avoid them and come back when you are in a better place in your life.

Keep going on strong, my friend. I am also 28 and live in the US. If you ever want anyone to talk to about things, feel free to reach out.