humiliation and the stigma of sex addiction

I think about what I'm about to write and bringing this up in a casusal conversation with the buddies at work, women, included. They would laugh at me. Or at least I think they would laugh at me. I live in a very liberal city, where sexual boundraries seemed to be pushed and new definitions of sexual habits. Debaucherous pleasures, consenting adults conduct in the bedroom are accepted as the norm. My inhabition about porn is probably tame compared to what people in this area have seen, heard, done. And only a few years ago , I was immersed in BDSM, Sex workers, drugs and whatever sleaze I could find. So what's the big deal with porn? It's just there and a lot of women like it, too(but do they really?) What am I some born again Christian prude? Am I afraid of naked ladies? Yes. I am afraid of naked ladies. Ladies with brains and a soul. I'm afraid I've never truly connected with one, while naked. If I told these buddies I've gone crazy in my self hypnosis of objectifying women, they'd probably laugh at me.
So my struggle is private, kept to myself and something of pride AND embarrassment. I'm EBARRASSED that I've lived so many years as a jerk -off. Embarrassed it has eroded my libido and chained me to a computer. Embarrassed that it is an incredible stuggle to keep my dick out of my hand, why pushing real women away.
A woman came into my job, last night whom I used to date. I avoided her. A few months ago, we dated, slept together, had a great time and bonded. most of my co-workers know her and are aquaintences. After a few dates, I was overwhelmed by the thought that my addiction was going to ruin us. Instead of brushing her off and making up some story to dump her, I told her the truth. I told her I want to spent a period of time, celebate. I told her I objectify women to get off and the numerous women whom I've hurt. I told her I resorted to prostitutes. I told her I've not been normal in almost a decade, and to some extent, all my life. I spilled my guts and she listened and understood. I barely knew her, aside from 2-3 dates. After I confessed to her, I avoided contact, wouldn't respond to her texts and eventually told her to leave me alone. Why leave me alone? I'm embarrassed of all that I confessed to her. I'm embarrassed she probably told a handful of people at work, that I am a struggling sex -pervert. I'm embarrassed how pathetic the situation is. She may have listened, but I think she is angry I cut contact. I'm simply not comfortable forming a non -sexual, yet romantic relationship. especially in these early stages of re-boot. She probably, like a lot of people I've heard, assume NoFap is a cult. And the stuf about trans-mutation and semen retention is junk science. Or worse yet, A habit the alt-right, group, the Proud boys are into. And maybe they are right, but I'm giving this NoFap a chance, for the sake of my own mental health. And I shouldnt give a shit what other people think.