How to win the mind game? (Advice needed)

I'm 28, love the nofap, first strike I'm on 40 days today no PM
I was fapping since I was 11, and I believe I never had a week without fapping until I discover The nofap scene.
Have no girlfriend now or lately..
The short story is, I had a lot of ED events.. since age 20.. a cycle that feed itself and the over-thinking always kill my chances. So the last few years i had very little sexual encounters cause I didn't want to fall further down.
Now, I'm 85 days not smoking ANYTHING (used to smoke lots of pot and moderately tobacco) As a result I started to workout 4-5 days a week (was thin, but not in shape), I was feeling better but the fapping killed my energy..
I discovered nofap, and since then I got some confidence back, I do eye contact, I talk to women and even got some positive reaction and some numbers.
My energy gradually increased, until few days ago when I had "nocturnal emission" aka wet dream.. I woke up from the dream, D was soft.. And the dream was not having sex only looking at 2 bomb shells.. I felt bad and a sharp decrease in energy both physically and mentally.. I got 'remember' that i have this 'problem' and start thinking about what if it still won't help. What if not-smoking working-out no-fapping won't cut it, If I still think about failure or the past or whatever and I will experience another failure.. It will BREAK me. All hope will vanish.. I'm afraid of getting in a real situation with the women I met cause I don't want to 'take the test'. And i know putting a pressure on a single event like it's a "test" is a big mistake, but what can i do? If I fall again it will be harder to get up. Both for me and my D (lol). Not funny though.
Any insights or advice?
(Thanks for reading, love you guys!)