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How to fix loneliness (post suggestions please!)

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ZenYogi, Oct 21, 2023.

  1. Oct 21, 2023 #1
    ZenYogi

    ZenYogi Fapstronaut

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    Right I’m game to see people’s suggestions here.

    I really never felt lonely for a long time. I had my mom around. I had a job. No friends no girlfriend that was it.

    Now I live with my girlfriend. It’s nice. It’s also crazy lonely when she’s not here. I see how she has a bustling social life and I want that too. Maybe I’ve been too picky in making friends. Or given up too easily. I don’t know. I just know that I don’t much talk to anyone aside from her. I have a couple people to chat with on nofap.

    I have some people at a meetup or two I can hangout with.

    but no one texts with me regularly. It’s. So….isolating. Posting helps and so does messaging people. So does going to the gym where there are a lot of people around.

    I am lonely though. All the social time helps I’m just still feeling deeply alone at times.

    my therapist and I collaborated to move me towards asking people to hangout for coffee that I know from meetups. So I’m working on that. I know the good friends will come. It just hurts in the interim waiting. Slowly but surely and gosh it’s tiresome at times.

    I think im gonna stop being so cheap and just pay for the gym membership and the nofap group calls membership. That’d give me some base social things to drop in on regularly.

    yeah whatever it’s fine. Heh.

    ommm

    right my own suggestions for you readers

    dating app: Hinge
    Friend website: meetup.com
    BFF is a friend app I never use but it’s popular
    setting Up hangouts or calls with family
    Just working with people from where they’re at and accepting that some good social time is better than none. Imperfect as the relationship may be.

    may we all find good relationships and feel not so lonely anymore :)
     
    ZenYogi, Oct 21, 2023
    ZenYogi, Oct 21, 2023
    #1
  2. Oct 22, 2023 #2
    Wolves of Wisdom

    Wolves of Wisdom Fapstronaut
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    This may sound cliché but learning to live with yourself helps a ton....or alternatively surround yourself with more aligned people. This has helped me a lot lately. I find if I surround myself with those on a different frequency I feel even more alone than I was before.
     
    Wolves of Wisdom, Oct 22, 2023
    Wolves of Wisdom, Oct 22, 2023
    #2
    Buddhabro2.0, amaranth and ZenYogi like this.
  3. Oct 22, 2023 #3
    ZenYogi

    ZenYogi Fapstronaut

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    Sounds perfect thanks for the ideas !
     
    ZenYogi, Oct 22, 2023
    ZenYogi, Oct 22, 2023
    #3
    Buddhabro2.0 and Wolves of Wisdom like this.
  4. Oct 22, 2023 #4
    nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to 100% of what you have posted, so I'll just take one thing you said and comment on that.
    You say "but no one texts with me regularly" - Yes, I also wish my phone rang more often and more people reached out to me. What I am learning is it takes a LOT of effort from me at first to cultivate a friendship. I may have to reach out to that person 3-5 times before they start to reciprocate and reach out to me.
    That's all, just know that it takes a lot of effort at first to build the time and the connection with someone new before they decide they will put back the effort and start reaching out to you.
    Good luck, and may we all find more friends as we continue our journey of no PMO.
    Peace,
    Nomo
     
    nomo, Oct 22, 2023
    nomo, Oct 22, 2023
    #4
  5. Oct 22, 2023 #5
    fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Everyone seems to suggest clubs/social activities like dancing,cooking,board games etc. But I've noticed if you go to such activities and still don't have the skills to create friends you still won't have new friends from it....
     
    fapequalsdeath, Oct 22, 2023
    fapequalsdeath, Oct 22, 2023
    #5
  6. Nov 1, 2023 #6
    mariniteish

    mariniteish Fapstronaut

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    True! the key is being able to converse with people, smile, eye contact, etc. those are skills some people have to learn, myself included. I've gotten better over the years but have always had trouble building close relationships. I'm also divorce and many of my friends are married to I don't get invited to couples things. can be lonely. I'm sure there are plenty of books available for learning to converse with people. the main thing is asking things about them and taking an interest int what they say. remember that lots of other people are shy as well. someone need to break the ice. might as well learn to be the ice breaker.
     
    mariniteish, Nov 1, 2023
    mariniteish, Nov 1, 2023
    #6
    fusion47 likes this.

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