How to Fail: A Success Story! - inspirational garble

Well, my cards were down again.

People tell me I can't win, I'm too old, I'm too stupid.

But that was where they made a mistake.

I was too stupid to quit.

I was too stupid to believe all the lies.

I was too stupid to waste my time in analysis paralysis.

I was about to die, I was in the pit, it was the last of my minute

on earth.

But wait.

It wasn't "over-over", the fat lady was still in the wings,

awaiting the curtain's ascension.

Every critic said they hated me, there were no fans,

sometimes I listened to my own keyboard,

and thought it out of tune.

That was when I realized something important.

Whatever that moment was, that low point below the scale,

it actually was the worst.

It was the worst?

And I was still here?

Well, sniff a hot dog and eat some mustard!

The bottom wasn't so bad.

After all, it had a certain advantage.

If a lottery ticket was free, then winning was a matter of

"numerical superiority".

Add up the failures, the more the merrier.

They cost nothing, and the upside is astonomical!

I could feel the optimism as strongly as a synthesizer in a Wang Chung song.

And that was how I did it, which was I just kept doing it.

Yes, sometimes it sucked.

Most of it was waiting, or treading water.

But I didn't quit!

And I wonder why did anybody ever quit anything?

And that's how we win here.

We win by FAILURE.

KEEP FAILING.

Because one day, when you try to fail,

then you mess up,

and DON'T FAIL!

And if you are failing,

then you are doing it exactly right,

you require ZERO course correction.

Who can do it better than you?

You are the one working on it,

you have the best viewpoint.

So keep going, keep failing.

If you fail on the left, then fail on the right,

fail moving up, fail falling down,

fail with women, fail at chess,

fail playing the drums,

fail shooting free throws,

fail converting French taxes for a holding company,

and keep failing.

Because when you get good at failing,

you will eventually make a mistake.

When life spanks you, say,

thank you Sir, may I have another?

You've heard it said, "The definition of insanity is

repeating the same thing, and expecting different results."

The fact is that the only sane thing to do is to repeat.

We repeat, we keep trying, and a lot of it is the same thing.

That's what sanity is, "Repeat until it changes."

If there was no way to succeed, nobody would repeat anything.

But people do make adjustments in the repetition to

improve the results.

Make the changes, keep trying.

One guy says, "I can't."

Another guy says (about the same thing), "I CAN."

They are both right.