Thanks for the genuine response… I have studied Buddhism before… the problem I encounter with Buddhism is that it gives me anxiety because there is no clear-cut answer to what happens after death. I’ve been around Catholic/Christian churches for a good amount of years… so if I mix Buddhism with Christianity, then it creates a “splitting” in my mind, and I am believe two different things at once, which gives me bad anxiety…
The first health issue occurred when I was 15 years old, I found out I had scoliosis. So I became nervous that my body would get worse an worse. I did end up finding a good physical therapist though, and it is under control. Thankfully it is not too bad. The second health scare occurred 4 years ago when I was 29 years old. After sexual intercourse with a woman 10 years older than me, I felt weird, and then about 30 minutes later my heart started racing really fast and I ended up having cardiac arrest (death). She called paramedics and they were able to bring me back though. I also should mention, I had a really bad panic attack at the age of 20 years old after ingesting mushrooms. Never did those again. I also used to smoke marijuana, and they gave me bad panic attacks after a few years smoking, so I stopped all marijuana. I also once took alprazolam for a couple months, and weaned off of them slowly. But I got some bad panic attacks from the withdrawal from alprazolam. So I have had some overall scary events that have happened and instilled a sense of fear into my mind/soul... I notice I'm also really sensitive to caffeine. If I have too much caffeine I get bad anxiety. I wonder what my coping mechanism is that I have created...
I guess I should say, that PMO and my anxiety are not really directly related, meaning, when I have anxiety, I don't automatically want to PMO. What I meant was, I wonder if long-term PMO has somehow damaged a mechanism in my body which is creating the anxiety. For example, say I stopped PMO completely 10 years ago, and haven't relapsed one time since then... would I still ever experience the anxiety problems that I feel today? I think PMO might damage the body/mind/soul to a certain extent, which then will result in symptoms occurring...
I think being aware of yourself, like in a meditative state. What is going on in your head and how you are feeling. Where is your self worth anchored? What kind of ideas were repeatedly given to you as a child.....
You sound like a hypochondriac. I'm one too. For me a good therapist helped but the catch with that is a lot of therapists and psychiatrists are terrible at their jobs and could easily make the issue worse. You may also have an illness or deficiency causing this, so even if you've been checked once I'd get checked again to be sure. I absolutely think PMO makes anxiety worse. It floods your system with chemicals in amounts you're not intended to receive all at once, and heightens your stress response over long periods. It burns out your dopamine receptors so things you might do to relieve stress don't work and beyond all that it doesn't actually stop you feeling horny. I'm 3 weeks into my current streak and I still experience the same levels of anxiety but I'm clear-headed enough to not let it control me. I also think that modern society contributes to many stressors nowadays and sadly there's little you can do about that except move to a cabin in the woods and become a hermit. I'd avoid modern stressors as much as you can, especially if you're exposing yourself to them for no reason. The big one people talk about is the news, you should probably just ignore it when most things it talks about don't apply to you in any meaningful way, if anything just give you more things to worry about you can't control, and a lot is designed to demoralise or upset you.
Don't over do SR, don't give the mind endless loop, do SR 28 days and give a gap of 56 days then do another 28 days, don't keep any expectations, just allow the body do what is appropriate. Take baby steps, slowly mind adapts and then take a big leap. Non SR days regulate the frequency of stimulation. Mainly follow SR in winter season. Follow the heart hand gesture, I'm sure it benefits you alot including your anxiety panic attacks. Start with 10 mins a day and increase it to 49 mins a day. Whenever you have anxiety, just get into the hand gesture for few minutes. You can do this gesture while sitting, standing or even sleeping position. You find good results with regular practice. It gives wonderful results for heart conditions, mood swings, anxiety, panic attacks, psychosomatic issues, lung health, headaches besides ton of other benefits. If you have any doubts regarding this let me know, will clarify.
Thanks, I just watched the video. I like the hand gesture and it is peaceful to think about knowing this gesture can help my heart. The only thing is, I feel like I have no choice but to do SR. If I masturbate, I become tired, depressed, lack confidence, and can't think as clearly. If I combine pornography with masturbation, then things are 10x worse. I get panic attacks, very weak, can't think clearly at all. So, I need to do SR in order to prevent myself from being destroyed to be honest.. Right now I am not currently searching for a girlfriend because my schedule is too busy, I probably can't search for a girlfriend for a while. I am not sure if sex with a girlfriend will cause these same symptoms though. In the past, in my twenties, sex with a woman did not cause negative side effects. I am not sure what would happen now though
This same thing happens to me, it's like if I orgasm more than once every week or so I don't just get brain fog I become outright ill, like I have a cold. It really sucks and I have no idea why I feel this way. I've also had heart palpitations from excessive sexual activity.
Same here, not exact same symptoms as you, but pretty bad symptoms of my own. I don't know why it happens either... one theory I have is that, IF masturbation and viewing porn are sinful, then these symptoms are part of God's design to not leave the sinner unpunished... I guess a test would be to get married and have a truly Godly marriage, and then see if these symptoms still occur? Do you have any possible ideas what causes the bad side effects?
The only medical reason I can think of is post-orgasmic illness syndrome, which is one of those vague illnesses you can't really be tested for. That or I've PMO'd so much I've permanently messed up how my body reactions to it.
I’ve read about POIS before… and yea, I think the same thing about doing it too much, causing long term damage… I think a 5 year streak could maybe cure it though… I think we need a truly, truly long streak, and to enjoy SR, so it comes naturally
At this point I honestly wish I could make my sexual feelings go away. That's kinda sad when you think about it I guess but I really do wish I could. They act as a detriment to literally everything else I do in my life and I hate that I have to monitor myself like a repentant crackhead whenever I start feeling lustful thoughts because I know where it leads. What also bothers me is how I experience these symptoms but when I get checked for things there's nothing wrong with me. I really don't understand it. I mean maybe they aren't entirely related to PMO (the heart palpitations I think is general anxiety and PMO just makes it worse) but either way you'd think a damn stethoscope or something would pick it up yet it never does. Frustrating to say the least.
I can understand what you're going through. Appreciate your determination to overcome mental captivity. Prolonged SR destroy the identity, this is not what most expect in the forum. Some orgs & monks follow SR for that destruction but it isn't just SR, it needs READINESS to ripe and get the result. Instead of releasing outside one must release inside to transform totally & complete. Like outside release gives birth to same kind, inside release makes the individual to take rebirth (kind of). Sexual energy is life energy itself, the same energy has constructive & destructive power. Abusing it meaninglessly destroys the person otherwise construct the person to different way of living which is appropriate in all aspects in regards to that person. To constructively use SR find a purpose or prepare yourself and allow SR to show your purpose. Without a bigger purpose you can't continue SR for long time. Wishing you better days!
