I'm an 18 yo and have been jerking since I was like 14. Everyday. It's like in my blood now. I just wanted to make this thing sort, so you guys can see what masturbation can do to you!? Well, first of all, fuck them who said that masturbation is good for you. It helps relieve stress, so they say. Cocaine also helps remove stress. So does smoking, gambling, meth and all those activities. This "stress relieving" activity has like taken away my life from me and I can't even protest. When I entered high school, I was seen as THE most promising kid in my school. ALL teachers predicted a bright future for me. I had got 10 CGPA ( The highest you can get here in my country ), had won 4 gold medals in national olmpiads and had a very beautiful girlfriend. EVERYTHING changed when I was given complete freedom by my parents ( as they believed in me ). I would sit inside my room and would jerk off minimum 3 times a day and play games all day long. Long story short: I passed with the bare minimum in class 11, couldnt go for the International Olympiad, my Girlfriend left me, scored a very low % in class 12 ( far far below than what was expected from me ). My addiction to porn grew so bad that I even started to watch some gay porn even if it didn't turn me on at all. Then I met with this guy and we had some "fun". I did not enjoy it at all. How on earth can I even touch a guy! I ain't gay! And then: The biggest "worstest" thing that ever ever happened to me: I thought I had been infected with HIV. Because HIV is mostly predominant among gay men and MSM. I would cry all day and I would not eat. I would vomit everyday and would not talk to anyone. I couldn't even tell anyone! The worst part is that you have to wait 3 months after possible exposure to know if you have HIV. 3 BLOODY MONTHS. They were full of torture. I had 5 HIV tests, all showing I'm Negative. I made a promise to myself, I would NEVER EVER engage in unprotected sex, ever. So here I am, a promising tough kid who thought that he would make his teachers and parents proud of himself. Today, I'm a miserable 18 yo who has no friends. Who is addicted to this bloody pornography. Who can't go to sleep without seeing girls like Ada Sanchez, August Ames, Abella Danger and others. Who cannot study. Who cannot concentrate. Who smells like shit. Who made out with a guy.Who has... just stopped living. My friends are now all in colleges and I have to study an extra year to score the required marks again in my class 12 exams to get into a good college. So guys, Porn and Masturbation are no less than Cocaine. It can take your life from you and you couldn't even fight. It can make you gay. Trust me. Fuck those who say it cannot happen. I must get my life back. I'm scared that if I do not masturbate for like a month, something bad would happen to my body. Can it happen? I set my first challenge to not masturbate for 10 days. After that, maybe for 20 days and so on. Good day. Keep up the faith.
Well bro.I read ur whole post.Yeah every porn addict has the same story as urs man.Really porn and m destroy a person completly.It takes away everything.Dont worry man.Evry problem has a solution.U can change ur life at any time,If u really want it.In the end all the best man.Do ur best...
I've just read your post and my heart goes out to you... HOWEVER there is a way back for you... You have acknowledge your addiction and have come to the right place. Read the articles on here and utilise the tools that are available but most of all we (your fellow addicts) will help you through this
I also fucked up my last three years of school. Now I have to catch up and rewrite my grade 12 so I can get into a good university. I feel your pain man.
Whether or not you masturbate you must avoid porn at all costs, be deadly serious about it, if you quit porn try to do it ONCE not with multiple failings. If you MO do it to sensation, no fantasy, bring your attention back to sensation And if you do MO then limit it to once or twice a week. No more.
I know it might not seem like it but the fact you realise this at 18 is a good thing. It took me until i was about 28 before i finally thought to myself 'i might have a problem with Porn' I can tell you from experience that things can get much worse for people and we all develop mentally at different speeds, some take years to escalate on to more risky or dangerous behaviour and some only take a few months. The important thing is you have made a choice now not to be a slave to internet porn and there will be set backs and it is going to be difficult at times but things will get better if you stay focused. It's certainly not too late to turn your life around and achieve those grades you want or get whatever career you want or even meet a nice girl to enjoy being with. I wish i had your revelation at 18, back then i was too busy at college getting stoned, drunk thinking i was going to be young forever. Life moves fast and if you are not fully in the driving seat it can get out of control quickly. Stay well away from drugs if there's one other thing that is just as bad as porn it's narcotics. I would recommend sitting down and writing a 5 year plan of what you want to achieve and do a one year plan of small achievable goals to get some focus back. I wish you the best of luck