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How should I get started

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by MEV99, Aug 30, 2017.

  1. Aug 30, 2017 #1
    MEV99

    MEV99 Fapstronaut

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    Long story short, Im an 18 year old virgin who is attending his first year of college. I never really talked or approached women during my high school years. Now Im not a socially awkward person when it comes to talking to people but whenever I come a cross a really attractive girl, I tend to have a hard time keeping eye contact or I have to put on my sunglasses when walking past them. Im trying my absolute best to change myself. For example, during my porn addiction I was lazy,unmotivated,unhealthy, boring and etc. Ever since I started my nofap streak I have been doing numerous things throughout the whole day like, reading, studying, running, exersizing/gym, "trying" to get out of my comfort zone,and etc. Now my main goal is to try to get my first girlfriend in my first two years of college before transferring to a university. Im also going to a nursing school for my last two years, so Idk if its possible to even find someone during that time. Ive never been in a relationship,kissed a girl or even held hands with one before. I may sound stupid but I really need help on what to do. All my friends tell me to be confident, but they say im funny but I dont think my type of sense of humor would please a woman. I fear that I will never find someone and achieve the dream of having a family. I would greatly appreciate any thoughtful/helpful answer. Thanks. God Bless.
     
    MEV99, Aug 30, 2017
    MEV99, Aug 30, 2017
    #1
    robertgianni1976 likes this.
  2. Aug 31, 2017 #2
    Digger

    Digger Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is the first part you have to stick with. Otherwise you kill your desire and confidence. Then you need to learn that you're building up meeting girls into too big of a deal focusing on relationships/kissing/marriage. Just start spending time with them with no "end goal". You'll start to get over your fear and you'll find that some are also shy and looking for a guy just like you.
     
    Digger, Aug 31, 2017
    Digger, Aug 31, 2017
    #2
    WesternWolf, MEV99 and Karimtolstoi like this.
  3. Sep 8, 2017 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    @MEV99 It's great you're improving yourself. You have a very mature thinking and girls your age tend to like that. But you shouldn't focus on girls so much. What girls want and what they say they want are many times two completely different things. Instead, you may want to pay more attention to the guys your age who have a beautiful stable relationship in order to understand how they succeeded in that. Spending time with such guys is crucial in learning how to attract the right girl, because humans learn social skills rather by intuition and empathy and less by intellect. Character, personality, profession, good looks, sense of humor, etc. are equally important when it comes to making a girl interested in you.

    Being happy and successful is a process that literally involves all your resources: intuition, patience, intellect, will power, instincts, etc. Just like an artist, you first learn by imitating successful guys, then you develop your own style. That doesn't mean you have to be fake. Imitating good behavior should be done without hidden intentions.

    Making a girl happy has nothing to do with buying her presents, taking her to the restaurant, or sending her a card on Valentine's day. In my opinion, girls who expect such things from you should be avoided. Making a girl happy has to do with making her admire and respect you for who you are and for the values that guide you. You don't have to ask a girl what she wants; just be yourself and if she is dissatisfied with you that means you are not compatible. Of course, if she has objective reasons to be unhappy with you (for instance, if you are rude to her), you may consider improving yourself.

    Doing things together is also crucial. Like another guy said on this forum, instead of buying her a car, you should buy a car for yourself and travel around the world together.
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 8, 2017
    Deleted Account, Sep 8, 2017
    #3
    MEV99 and Digger like this.

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