The withdrawal is bad... but manageable. Unfortunately I've tested positive for covid and have been recovering for the last couple of days, so there has been more room for idle hands. However, my streak continues strong. I decided to make this post to share my experience so far with this topic specifically from my current experience so that it offers a small window into what to expect from a withdrawal "spike". For me at least, it's mostly physical. Fantasizing that comes with a strong pull of "this can become true and you know how to get it! (porn)". Understanding that it cannot become true and why I want to let go of porn is what allows me to withstand it and understand that it is a "poisoned apple" so to speak. What's interesting about the fantasies is that it is about scenarios and/or people I'd have in real life, but with the sexual elements/bodies of the porn actresses/internet women/etc. Almost as if one were to do a collage of real life events & people, but copy pasting the "lust" from elsewhere. It's not really the people I know, or the scenarios I live with. It's like the "excessive dopamine elements/triggers" have that previous mechanism of "heh I can just get this idiot to think this is real by tapping into his normal/related circumstances and just poking", and that's how they try to come back. It's not a coincidence that this, alongside many other addictions, abuse that even for a normal stimuli there is substantial effort required to achieve it. These addictions not only give you an "enhanced" version of the same stimuli*, but they do so at a fraction of the cost. Why improve your personality/looks/selflessness/habits, when you can have a much stronger response without doing any of that shit? * The trick comes from realizing that it's not the same stimuli. It's similar under some specific parameters, but not even applicable in every other one. First of all, the real physicality from actual sex/intimacy vs self-stimulation (as with anything, it's bound to be more fun when you're not alone lol). Secondly, the improvements that one does that lead to real confidence that were mentioned in the last paragraph — you get these WITHOUT the shameful elements that come from the fake stimuli. Thirdly, the benefits that come from a real relationship — you get to know & like someone for who they are, and receive the same in return. What's the downside? That you don't get to pick how they look (like that one song goes, "this ain't pick a bitch" or something like it haha), the same way they don't get to pick how you look. I don't know about all of you, but I know what picking the lazy, synthetic, artificially enhanced option over the laborious, genuine, balanced one is. There is one distinction that I haven't outlined yet between both of them, and it's the price. For a long time, I was able to experience first hand the cost of the first option. Since 22 days ago, I decided that I was not willing to pay for it. You can opt to pay for it or not, I just hope this post helps you to (re)evaluate the cost & rewards. Best of luck!
