How My Life Has Changed.

hey all,

I thought as I'm new and confused as fuck I would intoduce myself and go from there.

I've probably been watching porn since I could remember, at the ages of 10 I was introduced to porn by my older friends.

It didn't really catch on until I was 15, after the first time I ejaculated I was hooked, every night from the age of 15 I watched porn until about the age of 18-19. It slowed down but seemed to make its self a daily affair, as I went on I realised that magizines weren't good enough and then certain videos would only fee this desire.

Now we need to the final step, I basically lost everything in the last 2 weeks, girlfriend miss carriaged and then we broke up not too long after. It was the first time that urge didn't kick back in.

2 weeks without fapping has been hard and considering the emotional mess I have been I believe I did great. I'm just scared now that my heart and head is coming back to me slowly that relapse could be possible.

That's the last thing I could ask for as I feel that giving in to them urges will force my brain to not be able to be strong enough to get through this all. I'm just so confused and I'm sure someone out there will make sense of this.

Ps. I know this isn't Thoerpy haha. I just would rather get it all out there.

 

Thank you both for the replies.

Each day the pain is getting better but that scares me as my normal self starts to come in that the bad habits will follow. Key word though is scared as reading on here and living each day as it comes has helped a lot.

I know I have changed, but it's going to be for the better.

So it's been about 3 weeks or so for nofap and I couldn't be happier in that sense.

Im starting to exercise tomorrow as well changing my eating habits. Also quitting smoking tomorrow. I hope these will all contribute to helping me get past my addiction.