How long until you were able to maintain an erection through regular intercourse?

I'm not sure what day I'm on, but it's got to be close to 30. I don't really pay attention to it, have been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend, and never really get notifications on here to check anyway, as well as never hearing back after sending AP messages. In fact, most of those accounts are deleted now lol. So there's that.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I have sex very regularly, and enjoy it most of the time. But as I'm still in recovery, I don't always show up, so to speak. I'm at probably a 50/50 ratio at the moment. When everything works, it's fantastic. Everyone's happy, we go for hours, etc. But when it doesn't, it's obvious and nobody likes it. We do what we can, and it's always about her first. I make sure she feels good, gets off, is comfortable, we take breaks, and so on. But still, it's really not enjoyable when she says things like, "I need you" and "put it in," to be tame, but I'm softer than a baby's butt.

So I was wondering what everyone's experience was with performance after quitting PMO. I'll admit, I actually haven't gotten completely 100% up yet, but a healthy 75-85% usually. I don't really feel a whole lot through it yet either, which sucks because I'm otherwise completely into it and her, emotionally and mentally. So I struggle with maintaining it, and that's if I manage to get up in the first place. I'm trying not to focus on it, which does help, but I can't always ignore it and just focus on her.

So, brass tacks, about how long did you all have to wade through the slog or wait and abstain until everything was working as intended? I literally had a dream last night about all this, and what that guy in the dream said was a solid year of complete abstinence. I'm not gonna lie, not having sex isn't an option. If I wasn't in a relationship, sure. But I am. She has needs, just like I do. We're supposed to be trying to start a family soon too, and that's a factor.

I don't know. I'm through the part of recovery where withdrawals and relapses happen, but now I'm basically just waiting for the physical recovery to take place. I noticed great results at first, but things have plateaued, and I'm starting to worry about not being able to satisfy my girlfriend anymore, and that I won't ever be where I should be as a young male.

Her and I have spoken about all this too, so it's not like I'm just ignoring things. She's supportive. But when we're in it, and these thoughts all starts to rush through my head, it's an absolute turn off. But she doesn't know that's what's wrong, in the moment, she just thinks it's her or that I'm over it. So I've had to reassure her a few times of this.

Ugh. I know I need to see a therapist/sex therapist, and possibly get a prescription to gain my confidence back, but that isn't an option at the moment. I told her last night that I wouldn't blame her if she left me. That didn't go well.

To;Dr had a string of bad sexual encounters where the soldier didn't get to his post. Wanted to hear stories of folks who managed to get to a point where an erection wasn't a problem anymore, and about how long that took.