How I ruined my relationships

Due to my PMO I lost every girl dat come my way bcos de could not satisfy me us PMO does.I also didnt have true feelin for the real thing as to PMO so relationships were/are borin n not pleasuerable us some of my colleagues tells me(to me is unreasonable). I met this girl whom I really loved and also loved me back but due to my feelins towards girls I didnt want to have intimate with her as she may become a victim of my useless feelings.I didnt want that to happen bcos I didnt want to hurt her.she thinks I dont really love her dat's why I'm avoiding her(I was pretending) but she didnt know I was hurting myself. I want to complete my challenge90days before I return her hoping things will be better(now20days).pls Iwant u to help me out with this...what if my true feelin does not change at the end of the challenge? What if I lost her at the end of the challenge since I've being avoidin her coming close to me? What should I tell her or explain to her? bcos I can feel she's being hurt