How excessive was your PMO use?

Hello andi1987. My porn use varied a lot over the years. I used to do PMO everyday once for a year but recently I do it once a week because after a week or so I can no longer advance any further and I relapse. I would watch/read any kind of P, including Hentai, erotic manga, erotica (this is basically porn but in words), femdom, girls taking clothes off, etc. (Don't judge )

I really hope I can quit it, I recently relapsed but of course one must be resilient and try again, this is what I shall do. Good luck to you with noFap!

 

My addiction isn't that bad.. i went a month with any pmo but relapsed. Everything was so much better without pmo, i spent more time with family, more energy, i was more socialized and so on. Yeah back to the topic, i just watched regular stuff...i mean trying to find hd videos that would give you a good experience. I will start again and hopefully i will go through this time. It is really time to put pmo behind me ... we can all make it. We all have the will power !

 

Man, I've steadily got myself out of the whole but now it's worse when I go back.

When I relapse I would spend hours and hours watching - I want that high, the feeling that nothing else matters in the world but the moment. The longer I could control myself and stay in that blissful moment where I was taken over by pure endorphins the better.

But like any high, the same methods only get you there once which has lead to experiments with my body more then I would like to say.

TBH, I watch the same basic videos over and over. It's never really about the videos for me, they just help heighten everything.

I'm in that space right now, loneliness and longing is crushing me inside - anything that makes me feel worth something or allows me to escape those feelings is just so hard to stay away from.

 

My current use is probably 3 PMO's every 2 weeks. That is, every 2 weeks or so I go on a binge and PMO x3 in one day. That's where I've been at for several months now but I also have sex with my wife.

In the past, it got as bad as 5 PMO's per week. And when I was a teenager I sometimes was a daily user.

 

It was daily, and usually from 30 minutes to an hour of one single fetish; sometimes I did it twice a day. Hentai, images, regular porn, etc.

 

I feel so ashamed and bad whenever the relapse happen, because it makes me feel so weak. When i am away from pmo i feel like an whole new person. It feels like you are really living freely. After a relapse i feel so grumpy.. and that can affect my family and other activities i take part in. But i am really going to stop this time. This will be the ultimate test of my willpower. I will follow some steps and i am sure we all can make through this journey !

 

I usually look for anal and foot fetish as I have these 2 fetishes (with women of course) These 2 fetishes setting me back for 22 years. But never really seen porn as a problem as I wasn't doing it excessively and had quite a success in life and never had a problem with the girls. Porn didn't make me shy or lower self-esteem.

But after having an extremely attractive narcissistic woman which did everything I was ever dreaming of I have realized I am addicted (never thought of that before) and started to try to unwire from that, but as you can see my counter so far very unsuccessfully. After broke up I started to watch porn for 4 hours a day (approximately) and masturbated 3 times a day, not every day but mostly. I started to realize that my life goes in a very very bad direction and I miss exgf extremely (sexual way). I struggle now for a year and a bit with a huge loneliness and that sets me back very badly in my nofap journey. Also because of bad decisions, I lost money and job, still living on some last savings in the very expensive country. I can go to a job that's not such a big problem I have quite great skills, I am just so wired to sadness and sexual addiction and fantasies to my ex-girlfriend that I feel completely hopeless and I need probably some cure as I have extreme apathy even to basic responsibilities. Anyway, I am not giving up and sometimes very bad situations can bring us on a better life path so I will keep fighting every single day believing in a better life behind this black wall. Sometimes we need to hit the rock bottom. I wanted to not to masturbate today but it is stronger than me and I failed. But as I said. I will stand up and go, every day. And if I fail again, I will stand up and go! And will reach the right destination!