After I relapse I find it hard to deal with my feelings. I feel ashamed and like I have let myself down. I want to stop pmo but I keep going back to it.
yes it's normal, sex is bound to shame by its nature... otherwise people would not hide in their bedroom to make love. now why the hell would you stop porn ? it's not obvious, but one thing is sure, it's a marathon, the effects compound with time, be happy with the few hours without porn. then maybe eventually a day ! but like i said it's a marathon, it's one mistake on a big painting, the painting of your life. what i mean is that your goal is to keep on, when you feel like masturbating (or watching porn, you name it), be aware of that goal, and WHY you want to keep on, if it's good enough a reason, go outside where you can't fall back. go for a walk. see people. whatever floats your boat ! i wanted to be short, but my keyboard started talking. just know that i don't take any of this for granted, make your own opinion !
I'm well aware of those feelings of shame and disgust after a relapse as I've experienced it many times. Instead of focusing on the negative, try to find the positives. Tell yourself you accomplished X number of days of no PMO. Tell yourself you felt better without PMO in your life. Figure out what triggered the relapse so you know when it happens again you can be aware of it and avoid PMO.
I think it's good you have those feelings, tbh. Disgust is a powerful feeling. Can help motivate you. Just don't let the depression and shame weigh you down. I relapsed today--I was filled with disgust. And I'm glad I was. Means I haven't lost my perspective. There have been times when I've thought that this pursuit (NF) has been stupid and PMO doesn't matter. So I'm glad I'm not falling to that line of thinking just because I can't currently reach my objective (I think it's common for people to reframe things in order to make themselves feel better about their current situation). So take pride in your disgust. Push the shame and depression aside. Keep building and never give up. I think it will pay off in the end. I can feel things shifting in my brain anyway. Even with periodic relapses, I'm still getting better at this NF thing. Take heart. Consistency is key and all that jazz. And yes, I'm talking to the both of us. Gotta give myself a pep talk too, y'know? Lol.